IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many foods are shipped from far away. Some people think that eating local food is more environmentally and economically. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

#foods #people #food
It is true that
people
 rely on more and more imported
food
 products, and I completely agree that eating
food
 produced by local farms is much better than consuming those from far away. There are a variety of reasons for
this
, and I will discuss both advantages and disadvantages in
this
 essay. There are some disadvantages if
people
 must eating eat only local
food
.
Firstly
, if
people
 are living in a small area which has almost no farming land, the citizens there might have no other choice than
eating
Change the verb form
to eat
show examples
food
 from other places.
For example
, Japan which owns a small land but
a
Add a missing verb
has a
show examples
large population is greatly dependent on importing
food
 from other countries in order to satisfy the market's needs. In another case, if
people
 are limited to
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
 only
food
 from the local and the local agriculture industry cannot produce every kind of
food
 to fulfil the balanced nutrition requirement for health, it will impact the development of
people
's growth
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 children's.
On the other hand
, there are more advantages if
people
 buy more local
food
.
Firstly
, it could reduce the transportation of imported
food
 which reduces the impacts
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 climate
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
 on the Earth and in the meantime
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 reduces the cost of transportation so
people
 can save their cost of living by buying cheaper
food
.
Secondly
, since
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
food
 is faster to be delivered to the market, it is generally fresher than
food
 with long-term transportation.
Finally
, the local
food
 can be better regulated by the local law which means the quality of the local
food
 could be higher than the imported
one
Correct your spelling
ones
show examples
. In conclusion, I believe that the advantages of eating local
food
 products outweigh its disadvantages because of reasons from both environmental wise and economic wise.
Submitted by ashlee.happy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • transportation
  • environmentally friendly
  • economically beneficial
  • local farmers
  • local economy
  • fresher
  • nutritious
  • food security
  • imports
  • preserving
  • traditional farming practices
  • biodiversity
  • limited variety
  • availability
  • cost
  • contributor
What to do next:
Look at other essays: