IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that we should celebrate National Holidays, Whilst others oppose the idea and say that the Government should invest this money in health and education. Discuss Both Views and What is your personal opinion in this regard.

#people #holidays #whilst #idea #government #money #health #education
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Investment in national holidays is a waste of
money
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, our
government
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 should be prioritizing to spend
money
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 on the hospital and education sectors. I will discuss both sides and share my opinion in support of
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second
Change the article
the second
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 statement in subsequent paragraphs.
First
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 of all, National occasions are commended with incredible joy and 23rd March is a major occasion in the history of the resolution of Pakistan. On that day,
Government
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 announces a long March and National Day joint service parade which shows the exhibition of Arm-force, Navy forces and Air forces.
consequently
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, they contribute millions of rupees to organizing the event one-day public special festival.
For example
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, they invest in the custom of military dresses, their firearms and projectiles, missile orientation, medal sheets and other preparations in the capital city.
Thus
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,
such
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 expenses would prompt a more economical crisis.
On the other hand
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, there are various social issues
such
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 as literacy rate, inflation rate and health issues that are raising in the country, and impacting people
live’s
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live
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. Many people obstinate that
Government
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 must think to invest
money
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 in
these problem
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this problem
these problems
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 which is essential for local people
instead
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 of squandering
money
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 on
such
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 celebrations. I support
this
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 assessment, lack of education and hospitals should be
under-consideration
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under consideration
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 so
government
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 should not take debts from IMF to tackle these issues and
this
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 is creating more burden on the nation. In conclusion,
Government
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 ought to use their finances to improve the education and hospital systems in the country, which is necessary more than investing
government
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money
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 in the national holiday celebrations.
Submitted by soniaku2003 on

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