Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is
sometime
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sometimes
show examples
argued that
if
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apply
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economic
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the economic
an economic
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contribution is consistent with the length of
labor
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labour
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time
among different countries. In my opinion that the conclusion is superficial without sufficient analysis from different perspectives.
This
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In this
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essay I will give my own perspective that
length
Correct article usage
the length
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of average working
time
is not a positive
relation
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relationship
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with the
successful
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success
show examples
in
Correct article usage
the economic
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economic
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economy
show examples
. On one hand, working hard is encouraged in
the
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apply
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society, which easily
link
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links
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to long working
time
. Undoubtedly, the possibility of
economical
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economic
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successful
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success
show examples
by
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through
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hard working
Add a hyphen
hard-working
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would be higher than others.
For example
, the salary for
Add an article
a worker
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worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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in
factory
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a factory
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normally
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is normally
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calculated according to their actual working hour
with
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apply
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based
salary
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on salary
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plus overtime salary, people work more hours
then
economic income would be
more
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apply
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.
Nevertheless
, a musician spent one year
to write
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writing
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a song, when the song has been published but no
any
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apply
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revenue because
not
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no
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buy-in in
market
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the market
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. From another perspective,
yield
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the yield
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rate is an important
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indicator
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indictor
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indicator
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to evaluate the
successful
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success
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of
business
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a business
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by
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apply
show examples
Add an article
an economist
the economist
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economist
Fix the agreement mistake
economists
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. There are several cases
proved
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that proved
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that the most eye-catching business case are always those
get
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that get
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return
Wrong verb form
returned
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in
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the short-term
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short-term
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short term
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.
For instance
, JD corporation (China Amazon)
established
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was established
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in 1998,
successful
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successfully
show examples
listed in public stock in 2014, and it’s profitable in 2017. Meanwhile, JD’s competitor PDD
established
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was established
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in 2015,
successful
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successfully
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listed in public stock in 2016, and achieved profitability in quarter one of 2021, PDD is profitable
by
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for
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6 years, which
less
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is less
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than 11 years compared with JD
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
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takes 17 years.
Besides
, the development of technology in
recent
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the recent
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decade have improved, more robot applied in manufacturing plant or used in
service
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the service
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industry, like robot arm in
production
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the production
a production
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line,
delivery
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the delivery
a delivery
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robot in hotel or restaurant, which appliances reduced the rework rate, scrap rate and the fluctuation by
labor
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labour
show examples
cost. To sum up, it’s too general to evaluate the economic performance
for
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of
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a country upon
time
spent on work, I support
to assess
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assessing
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the economic indicator in a
practice
Replace the word
practical
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way from different perspectives.
Submitted by yell00 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic success
  • working hours
  • productivity
  • sustainable development
  • work-life balance
  • labor laws
  • efficiency
  • gross domestic product (GDP)
  • burnout
  • occupational health
  • technological innovation
  • industrialized nations
  • emerging economies
  • workforce
  • competitiveness
  • workplace culture
  • employee turnover
  • quality of life
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