Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is
sometime
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sometimes
show examples
argued that
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
economic
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the economic
an economic
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contribution is consistent with the length of
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
time
among different countries. In my opinion that the conclusion is superficial without sufficient analysis from different perspectives.
This
Change preposition
In this
show examples
essay I will give my own perspective that
length
Correct article usage
the length
show examples
of average working
time
is not a positive
relation
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relationship
show examples
with the
successful
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success
show examples
in
Correct article usage
the economic
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economic
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economy
show examples
. On one hand, working hard is encouraged in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, which easily
link
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links
show examples
to long working
time
. Undoubtedly, the possibility of
economical
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economic
show examples
successful
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success
show examples
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
hard working
Add a hyphen
hard-working
show examples
would be higher than others.
For example
, the salary for
Add an article
a worker
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worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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in
factory
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a factory
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normally
Add a missing verb
is normally
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calculated according to their actual working hour
with
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apply
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based
salary
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on salary
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plus overtime salary, people work more hours
then
economic income would be
more
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apply
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.
Nevertheless
, a musician spent one year
to write
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writing
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a song, when the song has been published but no
any
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apply
show examples
revenue because
not
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no
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buy-in in
market
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the market
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. From another perspective,
yield
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the yield
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rate is an important
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indicator
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indictor
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indicator
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to evaluate the
successful
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success
show examples
of
business
Correct article usage
a business
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by
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apply
show examples
Add an article
an economist
the economist
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economist
Fix the agreement mistake
economists
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. There are several cases
proved
Correct pronoun usage
that proved
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that the most eye-catching business case are always those
get
Correct pronoun usage
that get
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return
Wrong verb form
returned
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in
Correct article usage
the short-term
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short-term
Correct your spelling
short term
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.
For instance
, JD corporation (China Amazon)
established
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was established
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in 1998,
successful
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successfully
show examples
listed in public stock in 2014, and it’s profitable in 2017. Meanwhile, JD’s competitor PDD
established
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was established
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in 2015,
successful
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successfully
show examples
listed in public stock in 2016, and achieved profitability in quarter one of 2021, PDD is profitable
by
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for
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6 years, which
less
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is less
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than 11 years compared with JD
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
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takes 17 years.
Besides
, the development of technology in
recent
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the recent
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decade have improved, more robot applied in manufacturing plant or used in
service
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the service
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industry, like robot arm in
production
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the production
a production
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line,
delivery
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the delivery
a delivery
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robot in hotel or restaurant, which appliances reduced the rework rate, scrap rate and the fluctuation by
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
cost. To sum up, it’s too general to evaluate the economic performance
for
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of
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a country upon
time
spent on work, I support
to assess
Change the verb form
assessing
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the economic indicator in a
practice
Replace the word
practical
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way from different perspectives.
Submitted by yell00 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic success
  • working hours
  • productivity
  • sustainable development
  • work-life balance
  • labor laws
  • efficiency
  • gross domestic product (GDP)
  • burnout
  • occupational health
  • technological innovation
  • industrialized nations
  • emerging economies
  • workforce
  • competitiveness
  • workplace culture
  • employee turnover
  • quality of life
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