IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

#week #workers #weekend
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It is believed that working hours should be cut down and
instead
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, workers should have more
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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 off during the week. I completely agree with
this
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 notion for several reasons which will be discussed in
this
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 essay. Primarily, longer break times may provide workers with a chance to spend more
time
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 with their family and friends, which can enhance people's mental well-being and boost their
overall
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 mood. Ultimately, it can lead to better performance at work.
It is clear that
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 outstanding performance can result in success for the company they work for.
Moreover
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, by having more days off, workers may maintain a balanced lifestyle, as they can have their working hours alongside enough personal
time
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.
According to
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 experts, it is necessary to allocate some
time
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 to ourselves, doing activities that we enjoy,
such
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 as reading a book, doing sports and exercise, watching a movie, or even writing down our emotions to understand them better. These activities can give us peace of mind and be calming, improving the quality of our lives. A combination of both working
time
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 and personal
time
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 can help us get more rest and spend
time
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 with ourselves, and in the meantime, work more effectively as it can have a positive impact on our energy level. In conclusion, it can be beneficial to allow individuals to have a longer weekend, as it positively affects their mental health and boosts their energy level, leading them to even outperform others and
finally
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, lead companies to climb the business ladder faster.
Submitted by ava.saljoughi on

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task achievement
Consider using specific examples or studies to strengthen your argument. This can make the essay more convincing and relatable.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are effective, consider providing a slightly more detailed thesis statement to clearly outline all main points discussed.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear position and effectively argues in support of shorter working weeks, mentioning benefits to workers and companies.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are logically structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The main points are adequately supported.
coherence cohesion
Transitions between ideas and paragraphs are smooth, which aids the reader in understanding the flow of arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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