Some people say that music is a good way of bringing different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Listening

song

Change preposition

to song

show examples

is the best boulevard to fetch some new things in various custody and ages in a pile. From my perspective,

this

proposition is completely true. It seems undeniable that without enjoying singing life is dull and gloomy. Human life is full of amusement. As a consequence,

people

prefer

song

Fix the agreement mistake

songs

show examples

very much. They are very fond of grabbing any musical lyrics. They are habituated with

this

Thus

, melody can gather different ages of men and women from different places and it assists them a lot to enjoy something special.

However

, some public supposes that only listening

songs

Change preposition

to songs

show examples

does not give any entertainment to

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

. There must be other cultural issues which can

also

spread in

human

Add an article

the human

show examples

brain.

For instance

, men and women are now enjoying rock and jazz bands and they can meet themselves easily in an individual place where they can know each other.

On the contrary

people

also

meet in a seminar where there are no tune issues.

Moreover

, modern life is so

confused

Replace the word

confusing

show examples

People

cannot get enough time to meet themselves where it is very needed to create a conversation.

As a result

, listening to music can widen their knowledge. They can make a festival while they know that listening to

Add an article

the song

a song

show examples

song

Fix the agreement mistake

songs

show examples

is a significant aspect. In

this

way,

people

are now very advanced about these issues. They are now refreshing their minds where it is not possible without any

song

. To contact outside the country humans are now very conscious to

listen

Add the preposition

tolisten

show examples

any tune.

Nevertheless

, some individuals

thinks

Change the verb form

think

show examples

that there is no need to arrange any musical instruments where there are adequate options to create a presentation, cultural ceremony etcetera.

For example

, folk can now enjoy classical opera and their knowledge is scattered every day.

On the contrary

, humans attending

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a seminar can form their knowledge and create

Remove the article

apply

show examples

diversity. In conclusion, the listening

song

Change preposition

to song

show examples

can create a group

Change preposition

apply

show examples

community.

However

crowd

Add an article

the crowd

show examples

also

create a team to fashion any meeting. I am in my opinion, there is no alternative way without enjoying listening to music.

Submitted by Sadiq on Wed May 04 2022

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

342 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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