IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Goverment should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#goverment #money #railways #roads
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It is often argued that authorities ought to invest money in rails
instead
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 of roads. I vehemently
accord
Verb problem
agree
show examples
 with the statement and
this
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 essay will propound my accordance with Credible examples.
To begin
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 with, there are myriad points behind my agreement. The first and most prominent one is that railways would help to cut down Carbon dioxide emissions. To elucidate
further
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, the Construction of railways will reduce not only the Consumption of fossil fuels but
also
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 the number of private vehicles, which are responsible for environmental pollution as well.
for instance
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, a Survey conducted by ILO in 2015 in the UK, revealed that on average, 43% of total greenhouse
gases emission
Fix the agreement mistake
gas emissions
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 are caused by private vehicles.
Therefore
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, it is inevitable that governments should construct more rail paths so that the number of publicly owned cars can be curbed. Are there any other reasons behind
this
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? Certainly, there are. The building of rails will be helpful to the masses as it might act as time-saving transportation. To decipher
this
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, trains are one of the fastest methods of transport
as well as
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 there is no interruption on the way of rails like roads. If a worker stucks in a traffic jam, he/she will not be able to reach his office on time, which might create an adverse impact on his career.
for example
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, a large number of personnel
got
Wrong verb form
get
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 fired every year because of their unpunctuality.
Hence
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, the Construction of more train pathways will make
this
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 way of transportation convenient for all classes of people, particularly Job holders.
To conclude
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, in spite of the fact that road transportation is important in terms of transporting goods and passengers , railways are more suitable for our environment
as well as
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 bring a plethora of advantages to us.
Nevertheless
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, I believe that governments should more focus on rail lines rather than roads.
Submitted by md2020 on

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task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt and takes a clear stance. However, further development of arguments and counterarguments could enhance the response.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: Overall, the essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. To improve coherence, connect ideas more smoothly between paragraphs and provide more transitions for better flow.
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