in many part of the world, children and teenagers are spending more and more of their time indoors. what do you think are causes of this problem? what measures could best be taken to solve it?

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Nowadays,

children

Use synonyms

and teenagers like to spend their leisure

time

Use synonyms

indoors rather than outdoors. I believe that there are several factors that might contribute to

this

Linking Words

issue.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

can be solved by several measures. One of the main reasons is the outdoor facility. In many places, residential areas are built without public

facilities

Use synonyms

, which means that some developers only build houses. Their concern is to provide a house without thinking about activities that may be useful for residents.

As a result

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

tend to spend their

time

Use synonyms

indoors because there are no places for

children

Use synonyms

to play outdoors. To tackle

this

Linking Words

problem, the government should create more public

facilities

Use synonyms

for

children

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to play with others,

such

Linking Words

as playground

facilities

Use synonyms

. Another reason is the advancement of technology.

Children

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tend to spend their free

time

Use synonyms

with their gadgets. Many

games

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are created with their gadget,

Linking Words

consequently

Add a comma

consequently,

show examples

children

Use synonyms

have many

games

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and they will not be bored with

games

Use synonyms

on their

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

As a result

Linking Words

, they will choose to play with their gadget rather than outdoor

activitiy

Correct your spelling

activities

activity

. To solve

this

Linking Words

problem,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

parents should be aware of the screen

time

Use synonyms

that teenagers and

children

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spend in their

time

Use synonyms

The parents

Correct article usage

Parents

show examples

should remind their

children

Use synonyms

to play outdoors and restrict

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

screen

time

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is because playing video

games

Use synonyms

with their gadgets is not good for their health, especially their eyes.

To sum up

Linking Words

, the availability of playground

facilities

Use synonyms

and technology remains the key role

for

Change preposition

show examples

producing

children

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and teenagers to play indoors rather than outdoors. Having said that, I am sure that the government and parents play a vital role in dealing with these problems by providing playground

facilities

Use synonyms

children

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and restricting the screen

time

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that

children

Use synonyms

spend playing with their gadgets.

rifkiw1205Tue Mar 05 2024

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Task Achievement

Focus on expanding your explanations and providing more detailed examples to strengthen your arguments. This can enhance the depth of your analysis and make your points more convincing.

Coherence & Cohesion

Utilize a wider range of linking words and transitional phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will aid in increasing the cohesion and coherence of your essay.

Task Achievement & Coherence & Cohesion

Consider including data, research, or hypothetical scenarios to add weight to your claims and examples. This approach can make your arguments more tangible and persuasive to the reader.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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in many part of the world, children and teenagers are spending more and more of their time indoors. what do you think are causes of this problem? what measures could best be taken to solve it?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom.

Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause this stress, and how can we reduce it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that young people should spend free time with families instead of outside entertainment, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industry to move to regional areas outside large urban centres. Do you think the advantage outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that the government should spend money on the search for life on other planets, whiles others believe that is a waste of public money because there are still many problems on earth. discuss both views and give your opinion