TOPIC – Nowadays, more and more people are moving from the countryside to cities, which are becoming overcrowded. What are the reasons for this movement to cities and what can be done to reduce it?
In the beginning, Whilst some proponents assert that living in the metropolises is more convenient for an advanced lifestyle,
countryside
residents advocate the other direction. I believe that dwelling in the urban area is the best place for workforce chances and educational opportunities.
On the one hand, the chief advantage of the countryside
is related to health, whereas
city dwellers suffer from air pollution. This
means that when some people decide to reside in an urban area this
leads to an increase in their chance to be employed faster, and well educated as well. For instance
, a recent study conducted by WHO revealed that the employment rate in civic areas is three times more than in rural one. Hence
, the financial and educational factors are the main motive for the internal immigration process when it comes to statistical analysis.
Nevertheless
, the step that should be taken to lessen moving toward urban areas is a governmental action to decentralise the multinational factories' location. To that, commuting workers are seeking full-time jobs, if that factory distribution has changed to a rural area, it will definitely accelerate that objective. For example
, the Egyptian government has recently legislated that dictates that the second branch of any enterprise should be located in the countryside
. A second role to decrease that migration is by building new colleges and educational institutions in the outskirts of the capitals. Therefore
, what can be said is that the governmental strategy plays a crucial role in developing the countryside
.
In conclusion, after
this
essay has manifested these points mentioned above, it can be said that the education level and high employment rate are the main reasons for that migration. However
, the geographical reallocation of these resources can redesign the countryside
's future.Submitted by madany1976 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a logical structure but has room for improvement in terms of clear paragraphing and use of cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, yet they could be more explicitly linked to the question prompt by directly addressing both parts of the question.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported with explanations but would benefit from more varied and sophisticated support, such as data or authoritative sources.
task achievement
The response to the task is somewhat complete but lacks a detailed discussion about the reasons for movement to cities, and partially addresses the reduction measures.
task achievement
Ideas presented are not fully developed or comprehensive. They could be more thoroughly explained and expanded upon to meet the task requirements fully.
task achievement
There is some use of relevant examples, but adding specific details and evidence would strengthen the argument and provide a clearer response to the task.
Your opinion
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