TOPIC – Nowadays, more and more people are moving from the countryside to cities, which are becoming overcrowded. What are the reasons for this movement to cities and what can be done to reduce it?

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In the beginning, Whilst some proponents assert that living in the metropolises is more convenient for an advanced lifestyle,

countryside

Use synonyms

residents advocate the other direction. I believe that dwelling in the urban area is the best place for workforce chances and educational opportunities. On the one hand, the chief advantage of the

countryside

Use synonyms

is related to health,

whereas

Linking Words

city dwellers suffer from air pollution.

This

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means that when some people decide to reside in an urban area

this

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leads to an increase in their chance to be employed faster, and well educated as well.

For instance

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, a recent study conducted by WHO revealed that the employment rate in civic areas is three times more than in rural one.

Hence

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, the financial and educational factors are the main motive for the internal immigration process when it comes to statistical analysis.

Nevertheless

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, the step that should be taken to lessen moving toward urban areas is a governmental action to decentralise the multinational factories' location. To that, commuting workers are seeking full-time jobs, if that factory distribution has changed to a rural area, it will definitely accelerate that objective.

For example

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, the Egyptian government has recently legislated that dictates that the second branch of any enterprise should be located in the

countryside

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. A second role to decrease that migration is by building new colleges and educational institutions in the outskirts of the capitals.

Therefore

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, what can be said is that the governmental strategy plays a crucial role in developing the

countryside

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. In conclusion,

after

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this

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essay has manifested these points mentioned above, it can be said that the education level and high employment rate are the main reasons for that migration.

However

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, the geographical reallocation of these resources can redesign the

countryside

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's future.

madany1976Fri Nov 24 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay presents a logical structure but has room for improvement in terms of clear paragraphing and use of cohesive devices.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, yet they could be more explicitly linked to the question prompt by directly addressing both parts of the question.

coherence cohesion

Main points are supported with explanations but would benefit from more varied and sophisticated support, such as data or authoritative sources.

task achievement

The response to the task is somewhat complete but lacks a detailed discussion about the reasons for movement to cities, and partially addresses the reduction measures.

task achievement

Ideas presented are not fully developed or comprehensive. They could be more thoroughly explained and expanded upon to meet the task requirements fully.

task achievement

There is some use of relevant examples, but adding specific details and evidence would strengthen the argument and provide a clearer response to the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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TOPIC – Nowadays, more and more people are moving from the countryside to cities, which are becoming overcrowded. What are the reasons for this movement to cities and what can be done to reduce it?

Your opinion

In many countries, young people decide to leave their parents home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing home with friends. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

The best way to solve the traffic and transportation problem is to encourage people to live in cities rather than suburbs and countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree

89.The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

You are not satisfied with a product you purchased. Write a letter to the store manager. In your letter: - Describe the product and the problem. - Explain what you want the store to do. - Say what you will do if the issue is not resolved.

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?