Today, in spite of the scientifically proven necessity of life-long learning, the idea that innate intelligence (thinking skills) is enough to have a successful life is dominating the minds of people.   Why is this the case?  What can be done about this problem?

Despite the empirically demonstrated need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
lifelong learning, the belief that natural intellect (thinking skills) is sufficient for a successful existence has taken hold in
people
's thoughts.
This
essay will discuss the causes of the above case and the solution to
this
problem. The main reasons why
people
think that innate intelligence is enough for a successful life is that
people
are lazy to do new innovative things and some
people
are arrogant about learning.
First
,
people
think that their level of intelligence is enough to build a happy life.
For example
, they are lazy to study and work like other
people
because in their minds they think that routine exercise for brain development is sufficient.
Secondly
, they behave arrogantly towards teachers or students.
For example
, intellectuals may argue that teachers are not qualified enough to teach them, or that they have already reached the very heights of science
unlike
Add the comma(s)
,unlike
show examples
other ordinary students. Some possible solutions to
this
are punishment from parents and giving examples from other majestic
people
. If you bring Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk for other intellectuals, they can understand that they have been working on themselves for a very long time.
In addition
, parents can punish unusual children for being lazy and working hard at school. To conclude, carrying innate thinking skills provides us with many disadvantages.
However
, we can teach them so as not to rely heavily on our skills and abilities.
Submitted by Zhbiroksana on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: