Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions to what they do.

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Nowadays, there is a proliferation of discussions about the freedom of

artists

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' performances. Some people consider that

artists

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must be given

Remove the article

apply

show examples

independence to express their competency.

Nonetheless

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, several communities suggest that the

government

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makes surveillance for

artists

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' expression.

However

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, I personally do not entirely agree with

this

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, and I will explain why.

Firstly

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, the restriction of liberation from creator-content will kill their creativity. It can be explained that the imagination can not be limited by the rules because if thought following the regulations, it will lose self-unique.

For instance

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, Indonesia's

government

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will create a direction for YouTubers' content, and many YouTubers

give

Verb problem

will

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protest the regime

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due

Change preposition

because

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to will limit their creativity.

As a result

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, the

government

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is reconsidering the implementation of that regulation.

Secondly

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, the limitation of creativity decreases the originality of the content made. The reason for

this

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is that when the

artists

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perform the best performance in their film, it can be cut or censored by the state's regulator, considering that they are not following the laws.

For example

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, many movies in Indonesia are cropped and edited by the movie's controller, which is provided by Indonesia country.

Consequently

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, the spectators can not watch the whole film made by moviemakers.

To conclude

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, I strongly disagree with the controls for the

artists

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' performances. It is

due to

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some bases,

such

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as the imagination can be destroyed by the limitations of the rules, and it

also

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reduces the genuineness of the movie created by the creator.

Therefore

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, it is recommended that the

government

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does not restrict artist appearances.

maqbul.mohammad.mFri Jul 05 2024

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task achievement

Expand on your arguments with more detailed supporting examples and clear illustrations to strengthen your points.

coherence cohesion

Work on seamless transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay and improve readability.

coherence cohesion

Try to avoid repetition of phrases and vocabulary to maintain the reader's interest and add variety to your writing.

task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear response to the issue of artistic freedom versus government regulation.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which help to frame the essay well.

task achievement

The ideas are generally clear and comprehensive, making it easy to follow your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Freedom of expression
Censorship
Artistic integrity
Cultural identity
Social responsibility
Public order
Discrimination
Hate speech
Self-regulation
Government intervention
Vulnerable groups
Creativity
Democracy
Fundamental right
Moral obligation

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Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions to what they do.

Your opinion

You are unhappy with a service you received at a restaurant. Write a letter to the restaurant manager. In your letter: - Describe the situation. - Explain why you were unhappy. - Suggest what you would like the manager to do.

Your friend wants to send her/his children to your house for the weekend. Write a letter to him/her and say – Agree to this arrangement. – Say what time is suitable for you. – Describe what you are planning to do.

Small shops in towns and villages are closing and are being replaced by big stores. Do you think it is a good or a bad trend? Explain your opinion.

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Detailed description of crimes on newspaper and TV can have bad consequences on society, so this kind of information should be restricted on media. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?