Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions to what they do.

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Nowadays, there is a proliferation of discussions about the freedom of
artists
' performances. Some people consider that
artists
must be given
an
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apply
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independence to express their competency.
Nonetheless
, several communities suggest that the
government
makes surveillance for
artists
' expression.
However
, I personally do not entirely agree with
this
, and I will explain why.
Firstly
, the restriction of liberation from creator-content will kill their creativity. It can be explained that the imagination can not be limited by the rules because if thought following the regulations, it will lose self-unique.
For instance
, Indonesia's
government
will create a direction for YouTubers' content, and many YouTubers
give
Verb problem
will
show examples
protest the regime
due
Change preposition
because
show examples
to will limit their creativity.
As a result
, the
government
is reconsidering the implementation of that regulation.
Secondly
, the limitation of creativity decreases the originality of the content made. The reason for
this
is that when the
artists
perform the best performance in their film, it can be cut or censored by the state's regulator, considering that they are not following the laws.
For example
, many movies in Indonesia are cropped and edited by the movie's controller, which is provided by Indonesia country.
Consequently
, the spectators can not watch the whole film made by moviemakers.
To conclude
, I strongly disagree with the controls for the
artists
' performances. It is
due to
some bases,
such
as the imagination can be destroyed by the limitations of the rules, and it
also
reduces the genuineness of the movie created by the creator.
Therefore
, it is recommended that the
government
does not restrict artist appearances.
Submitted by maqbul.mohammad.m on

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task achievement
Expand on your arguments with more detailed supporting examples and clear illustrations to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on seamless transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay and improve readability.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetition of phrases and vocabulary to maintain the reader's interest and add variety to your writing.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear response to the issue of artistic freedom versus government regulation.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which help to frame the essay well.
task achievement
The ideas are generally clear and comprehensive, making it easy to follow your argument.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Freedom of expression
  • Censorship
  • Artistic integrity
  • Cultural identity
  • Social responsibility
  • Public order
  • Discrimination
  • Hate speech
  • Self-regulation
  • Government intervention
  • Vulnerable groups
  • Creativity
  • Democracy
  • Fundamental right
  • Moral obligation
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