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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that childhood is the best stage of happiness.While others believe that a person can enjoy more happiness in other stages of life? Discuss both views and give your opinion?

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According to some
people
Use synonyms
among
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all the ages
childhood
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 is
best
Add an article
the best
show examples
Use synonyms
stage
Add the particle
to stage
show examples
 of
life
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 to be
joyfull
Correct your spelling
joyful
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 others believe that an individual can be more cheerful in other stages of
life
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
descibe
Correct your spelling
describe
 both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
perspectives,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
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 I firmly believe
with
Change preposition
in
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 the notion that
childhood
Use synonyms
 is the best
stage
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 to be happy as compared to
Correct quantifier usage
other
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others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
 stages of
life
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. In
childhood
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, one is free from all the worries and stress of the world. It is indeed the most innocent part of
ones
Change to a genitive case
one's
show examples
life
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. There is no peer pressure, no grief in
life
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 and most important no stress. All they have to do is play, sleep and eat and that too taken care
by
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of by
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 the parents .
For
Linking Words
instance
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,instance
show examples
 a study was conducted in
Old
Correct article usage
an Old
show examples
age
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 home in The United Kingdom where
people
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 were asked about which
stage
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 of their
life
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 they miss the most and
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 answered
childhood
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.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 some
people
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 find more happiness in
adulthood
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,
middle
Add a hyphen
middle-age
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age
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 or old
age
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. As in
adulthood
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 an individual has more sense of freedom and is capable of exploring things. While some
people
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 find happiness in their old
age
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 after retirement as they have enough time for recreation and experiencing the things which they were not able to do, due to
constrain
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constraining
show examples
 of time and responsibilities. So, every
individuals
Change to a genitive case
individual's
show examples
 perspective of living
life
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 is different. For an instance, a survey was done regarding happiness in
childhood
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 vs
adulthood
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 in
slum
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a slum
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area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 in Mumbai in India and more than half of the subjects told they have found more
cheerfullness
Correct your spelling
cheerfulness
 in
life
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 when they became
adoloscent
Correct your spelling
adolescent
adolescents
 as their
childhood
Use synonyms
 was full of hardships. . To, conclude every
stage
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 of
life
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 from infancy to old
age
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 has its own importance. Some enjoy
childhood
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where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
 other enjoy
adulthood
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 and directly or indirectly it is influenced by the circumstances of an
individuals
Change noun form
individual's
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
 in my opinion undoubtedly
childhood
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 is the most
cheerfull
Correct your spelling
cheerful
stage
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 of
life
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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