Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What the advantages and disadvantages?

In our society, some

people

Use synonyms

tend to live their whole life without any changes.

Linking Words

particular

Add a comma

,particular

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the area where they were born and raised.I believe, they feel more comfortable in their home town with their own

people

Use synonyms

. In

this

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essay, I will discuss the reasons and pros and cons of

this

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choice. In the running days, the world has become a global village.

People

Use synonyms

left their cities and countries to live somewhere else for better prospects of earning and studying.

On the contrary

Linking Words

, some backward minded individuals insist on living in the place where they were born and spent their initial part of life.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they even believe leaving that place will affect their religious beliefs and family traditions.

For instance

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, some parents do not allow their children to study abroad because of the fear that they will forget their religion or family norms.

Therefore

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this

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sector of the community is considered backwards and lower class.

This

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part of society

miss

Change the verb form

misses

show examples

the opportunity of exploring the potential of the world.

Moreover

Linking Words

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

usually

Add a comma

,usually

show examples

they earn below the average because working in the suburbs without career growth does not contribute

Change preposition

to a

show examples

large income.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, those who left their home towns feel homesickness and loneliness but they are more likely to succeed because of leaving their comfort zone.

For example

Linking Words

, youngsters leaving their country to study or for new

employment

Replace the word

employees

show examples

have more chances of success as compared to someone staying in the place they grew up. In conclusion, I want to say that the best impetus to the development of your life is changing the residence and huge experience in the job.

However

Linking Words

, do not forget that

people

Use synonyms

are different and what suits one person may not suit another.

sidramassri47

May 6, 2022

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Familiarity
Comfort
Social ties
Family ties
Belonging
Resources
Opportunities
Fear
Unknown
Financial constraints
Cultural attachment
Language barriers
Limited education
Skills

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