Some people believe that children’s time outside of school should be filled with scheduled activities such as art and music classes and sports. Others feel that children need free time to play and relax. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is argued by different groups of the crowds whether or not the scheduled activities either art, sports or music classes ought to be spent by the children during the time outside of school
instead
of having free time to play and relax. From my prospect, I opine that the freedom of the
students
to relax is the most vital. On one hand,
due to
the concerning issues
occuring
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occurring
throughout the world among
the
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adolescents, a fair portion of the folks reckon,
after school
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after-school
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,
the
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activities should be scheduled in order to be participated by the young folks to make the worthier learning.
For instance
, many popular sports clubs among
the
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teenagers
such
as football, basketball and badminton should be established
hence
the
students
are able to opt
the
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for the
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various interactions.
On the contrary
, the other group of
the
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adults believes that the right of the
students
to relax
by
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in
show examples
whatever wanted is more crucial because of the belief that the clubs provided are not adequate since the young individuals likely desire not to be enforced by the teachers about their affectionate activities. To illustrate, in Japan, Tennis, which is
the
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a
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well-known
sports
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sport
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, is often played by the Japanese, on the flip side, the game is not popular in other countries,
that is
, the difference
of
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in
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the
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nationality affects
the
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people
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people's
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liking.
To sum up
, two different thoughts about how educational
institution
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institutions
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should allocate the left time are controverted by the adults. In my aspect, I strongly agree with the thought
presenting
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that the
students
need to relax and play
according to
their
desire
Fix the agreement mistake
desires
show examples
.
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Task Achievement
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Task Achievement
Enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas by making your opinion and reasoning clearer. Include more detailed examples that directly support your point of view.
Coherence & Cohesion
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Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clear, concise, and directly related to the topic. Reiterate your main points in the conclusion to strengthen your argument.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • academic curriculum
  • hidden talents
  • instill discipline
  • teamwork
  • time management skills
  • unstructured play
  • fostering creativity
  • stress reduction
  • cognitive and emotional development
  • well-rounded upbringing
  • social interaction
  • personal growth
  • equilibrium
  • beneficial outcomes
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