IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some peole say that too much time and resources are spent on the protections of wild animmals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#peole #time #resources #protections #animmals #birds
It is evident that a considerable amount of time and money have being given
for
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to
show examples
 animal conservation. While some individuals believe that it is a sort of
wasting
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waste
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, I advocate that
this
 is the best way to prevent
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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all species from future serious threats.
Animals
 and birds play a pivotal role
on
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in
show examples
 natural surroundings including maintaining the diversity of the economy and education.
First
, it is clear that the lacking of any kind of
animals
 in the food chain resulting severe consequences.
For instance
, the distinction of
thylaxyns
Correct your spelling
thylacines
at
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in
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 Tasmania has left a space in the nutrition chain, leading to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 significant increase in the number of Tasmania devils, and several strange illnesses for others.
Second
, due to the training purposes, it would be best if students and scholars can contemplate species
by
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with
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 their naked eyes once
,
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apply
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 since real samples could remain
vivid
Correct quantifier usage
more vivid
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 in learners’
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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 than any other means of information.
In addition
, animal preservation could benefit
human
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humans
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 with some merits, from generating new medicine to innovative inventions for daily life.
Initially
, scientists have
study
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studied
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 from the features and habits of wild
animals
, which help them to survive in a difficult
environment
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environments
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.
For example
, biologists have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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invested their efforts to explain why female polar bears can live without food during
six-month
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the six-month
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 winter, and create a special medicine for
obesity
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obese
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 patients. Alternatively,
technicans
Correct your spelling
technicians
also
 took some unique points in the habit of
animals
 into their careful consideration, which aims to improve their products.
Camera
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The camera
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 is an example, the improvement of
lens
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lenses
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 today are much more
relied
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reliant
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 on specifics of cats’ eyes
,
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apply
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 because scientists have applied the ability
of seeing
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to see
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 in a dark environment of cats to upgrade the quality of
Add an article
the photo
a photo
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photo
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photos
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. In conclusion,
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
show examples
 environment with wild
animals
 conveys
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 crucial role
on
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in
show examples
 human life,
hence
 governments and individuals should take
this
 issue into serious protection.
Submitted by khanh3802 on

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