Some people think that the main factors influencing a child's development these days are things such as television, friends and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

There is no doubt people use more and more social outlets in the contemporary world. While some certain individuals think that parents obviously play a fundamental role
behind
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
child
to get a toddler, a teenager and an adult. Others claim that social
factors
outside of the family influence
much more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
for
child
's
development
. In my opinion,
However
, I believe that the parental support for the
child
as former view values for the
child
to learn the
life
. Some people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
state that family interaction with the
child
for his
development
is a major requirement and significant impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
life
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
each
child
. He starts the
life
journey from
mother’s
Correct pronoun usage
his mother’s
show examples
womb and there are network connections with the family and he learns real
life
from them. They develop their confidence doing daily activities step by step and grab skills through interaction with family members.
For example
, who
grow
Correct subject-verb agreement
grows
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
brought
Add an article
the brought
show examples
family,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
when the mother and the grandparents while telling the fiction stories to the
child
while he is eating or playing that he
try
Change the verb form
tries
show examples
to catch the world,
therefore
his creativity and confidence
incredibly
Add a missing verb
are incredibly
show examples
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhanced
show examples
with happiness. Another crucial advantage is that children learn and receive love and affection much more from family members. While he
develop
Change the verb form
develops
show examples
this
important habit,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
he start loving himself and others as well as he
respect
Change the verb form
respects
show examples
every human and
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
show examples
.
On the other hand
, those who argue that social
factors
such
as television, friends and music are needed for
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
development
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
birth as
child
Add an article
a child
show examples
learn different things from the TV shows.
For instance
, when he
watching
Wrong verb form
watches
show examples
children's drama, film or animal planet, he
study
Change the verb form
studies
show examples
many cultures, many habitat and popular languages. Music always gives relaxation to
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
life
.
Moreover
, when they have friends
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
he learns how to mingle with different characters, team
bond
Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
show examples
and put his legs for socialization and it leads to
make
Change the verb form
making
show examples
independent
Correct article usage
an independent
show examples
adult for the
life
. Not only that but
also
there are
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
show examples
draw backs
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
show examples
using
Change preposition
to using
show examples
above mention social
factors
if someone
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
excessively and inappropriately. He might be
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
less credit in his exams due to
addiction
Correct pronoun usage
his addiction
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
watching television and music as well as
he
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
influence
Change the verb form
influences
show examples
irregular habits
such
as using illegal drugs once he
mix
Change the verb form
mixes
show examples
with toxic friends. In conclusion,
nevertheless
, who grow among
family
Correct article usage
a family
show examples
environment that the
child
develops very scientific ways with pleasure.
However
, social
factors
very
Add a missing verb
are very
show examples
important to consider in
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
account for his best
life
development
. But usages of that for the
child
always need under parental guidance and supervision.
Submitted by rdbowalgaha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: