IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Write about the following topic: A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #person #status #possessions #values #honour #kindness #trust
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There has been an ongoing debate about whether people's value should be measured by their social status and property, and that core
values
 in the past are no longer crucial. In my opinion, I totally disagree with
this
 opinion and will elaborate more on
this
 in my essay.
Firstly
, a
person
's possessions do not reflect their true self. Judging them based solely on their finances and status would be unethical and unfair, as it is true that a
person
 who is poor can have better characteristics and abilities than a
person
 who is rich.
For example
, a
person
 who is poor but has a good heart is Mother Teresa. Though she took a vow of poverty and lived a life of minimal material possessions, she dedicated her life to serving the poor, sick, and dying. She founded the Missionaries of Charity, a religious congregation that provided care for those in need, showing immense compassion and love despite her own lack of wealth. Meanwhile, there are a number of wealthy politicians and leaders who committed embezzlement.
Thus
, I believe that it hinders development, recognition, opportunities, and justice among people.
Moreover
, I strongly argue that traits
such
 as honour, kindness, and trust are significant in a number of social circumstances since they form the foundation of meaningful and lasting relationships, foster a sense of community, and create environments where individuals can thrive. An experiment proved that a child
values
 the love shown to them more than the toys and gifts by parents, highlighting a need for these essential mental
values
 rather than a material craving in human beings. In conclusion,
while
 money and materials are sometimes prioritized in life, I still believe that
values
such
 as honesty should be valued more as they promote human well-being and true self.
Submitted by minhlieu.hnd on

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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure every argument directly addresses the essay prompt. Add more varied examples, including some from modern-day contexts, to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, aim for smoother transitions between paragraphs. While the essay is generally well-organized, improving the flow between arguments will help.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the argument.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples, such as the reference to Mother Teresa, effectively support the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • material possessions
  • social status
  • old-fashioned values
  • honour
  • kindness
  • trust
  • societal norms
  • social media platforms
  • value system
  • material wealth
  • personal relationships
  • societal well-being
  • timeless moral values
  • value-driven society
What to do next:
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