Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. however, the others believe that school is the place to learn this.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place

Many folks believe that family should teach

children

how to be social trust,

while

others say that school is to

learn

Verb problem

teach

show examples

this

Although

institutes have a vital role in their education, I believe that parents have the authority to ensure offspring have a good attitude in society. In

this

paper, I will discuss both points of view and

give

Verb problem

apply

show examples

conclude the argument. On the one hand, school is one of the most popular places to give knowledge to

children

. It is not only about academic learning

such

as maths, biology or

physic

Fix the agreement mistake

physics

show examples

but

also

non-academic material like attitude or discipline.

Nevertheless

, schools have limited teachers.

As a result

, they can not teach and control optimally each child.

For instance

, in a class,there are twenty students and one

supervision-teacher

Correct your spelling

supervision teacher

show examples

, so the lecturer can find it difficult to control each child in the class.

On the other hand

, the family is the first person in the scion's life. Every child has an emotional relationship with their relatives.

This

is because they

additionally

find their relatives when they feel happy or sad.

Hence

, the family is

more closely

Correct word choice

closer

show examples

to the offspring, so they can

education

Wrong verb form

be educated

show examples

easily on how to be good members of society.

For example

, almost every day parents meet their

children

either in the morning or evening, and every time

their

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

meet can be used to ensure the offspring's attitude.

In addition

, the family have more power to

enforce

Verb problem

force

show examples

the scion to become socially responsible.

This

is because the scion has respect for their relatives, so they will follow

Correct article usage

the

show examples

rule

Fix the agreement mistake

rules

show examples

of their family. In conclusion,

however

, the academy has an essential role in

offspring's

Correct article usage

the offspring's

show examples

education, I believe that the family have a duty to ensure

children

have a social obligation.

This

is because parents are closer and have more power than the academy or teachers.

Submitted by fasikhullisanugerah on Mon May 09 2022

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coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas into clear paragraphs for better coherence and cohesion

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

305 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

good members of society
teach
parents
schools
responsibility
values
respect
empathy
responsibility
formal education
citizenship
ethics
social responsibility
lead by example
role models
conducive environment
extracurricular activities
community involvement
collaborate
holistic approach

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