IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Despite the variety of sport facilities and gyms, people become less fit than ever What are major causes? What solutions you suggest?

#variety #sport #facilities #gyms #people
The numerous fitness centres have risen upcoming several advantages to physical fitness;
however
, people intended to ignore brick-in-wall square rooms and those benefits become increasing challenges.
This
 thesis will demonstrate the majority of reasons behind cleaning public spaces to alternative perspectives of monthly costs and spending time on exercise with an efficient result. In some developing suburbs, bodybuilding is a significant part of improving beneficial effects on mental muscles. Gym membership is the most saved-time aspect of unlimited use of sports equipment and personal training.
In contrast
, the vulnerable problems to widespread chronic disease in the atmosphere and uncleaned facilities from multiple uses.
Secondly
, adult finds a complicated timeline for attending some park groups because of business extended hours. Which are lack of opportunities for active participation in order healthy wellness.
Although
 fitness rooms are
rapidly
Change the adverb
rapid
show examples
 growth in various locations, people refused independent workouts as daily involvement.
Consequently
, the field owner should protect each of the individual members by eliminating rules. Allowing to wipe sports facilities with chemicals afterwards and visit experiences
such
 as the upgrade stream room in advance.
Otherwise
, a commercial model will tackle building body variations on positive levels. Adults with noticeable schedules are going to understand beneficial results on mental disorders by reducing depression, anxiety and community interaction.
Therefore
, they will attempt to sign in to the group on healthy lifestyles. The fulfilment information of instructions, people are not going to ignore their health conditions with becoming too significant cares. To summarize, the operation of square rooms allows residents to follow consistent practices to support their internal conditions.
Additionally
, they must understand the importance
healthcare
Change preposition
of healthcare
show examples
 of active workouts in spite of fees, incentive contacts and choosing a time.
Submitted by nhunggphamm on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: