It is a natural process in which animal species such as dinosaurs become extinct. There is no reason for people to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

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In recent times, there has been an ongoing debate regarding the natural
extinction
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of animal
species
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. A group of individuals believe that there is no reason for people to prevent
this
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natural process from happening.
However
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, others argue that humans should take measures to protect endangered
animals
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and maintain biodiversity.
Therefore
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, ahead of my
opinion
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, both views will be discussed
further
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. Examining the former
opinion
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, the primary argument the supporters would put forward is that protecting endangered
animals
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is necessary to maintain biodiversity.
This
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is because every
species
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plays an important role in an ecosystem, and the
extinction
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of one
species
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can affect the food chain.
In addition
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, they
also
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believe that preventing animal
extinction
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can help maintain the natural balance of ecosystems. The reason is that the disappearance of one
species
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may lead to an increase or decrease in the population of other
species
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.
On the contrary
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, those in favour of the latter
opinion
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have their own arguments.
To begin
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with, their claim
that
Verb problem
is that
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natural processes can cause some animal
species
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to become extinct.
Such
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as dinosaurs disappearing after a natural disaster on Earth.
Moreover
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, many
species
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are threatened by human activities. Including deforestation, hunting and climate change.
Therefore
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,
although
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natural
extinction
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is inevitable in some cases, people can take effective measures to protect endangered
species
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from human-related threats .
To conclude
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and offer my position, there are convincing arguments both for and against the
extinction
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of animal
species
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. Protecting endangered
animals
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is
reason
Correct article usage
a reason
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for individuals .
However
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, I certainly favour the former
opinion
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because protecting endangered
animals
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is important for maintaining biodiversity and the balance of nature.

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Task response
Score: 5. Your position is not clear at the start. Say clearly if you agree or disagree in the first part. For example: “I disagree because people should stop extinctions caused by human acts.”
Task response
The two views are mixed up. The first body part says the “former” view, but it explains why people should protect animals. Make sure each side matches the view named in the question.
Task response
Give one clear example with more detail. For example, if a top animal dies out, the number of its prey may grow too much and harm plants.
Task response
Do not say that both views will be discussed if the question asks whether you agree or disagree. Focus on your own answer and use the other side only to support it.
Coherence and cohesion
Score: 5. Put your main view in the first part, then use one body part for reasons people should act and one body part for the other view.
Coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are not full sentences, such as “Such as dinosaurs disappearing after a natural disaster on Earth” and “Including deforestation, hunting and climate change.” Join them to the sentence before.
Coherence and cohesion
Use the same words for each side. “Former” and “latter” become hard to follow because the ideas change. Say “people who agree” and “people who disagree” instead.
Coherence and cohesion
The last part is not clear: “Protecting endangered animals is reason for individuals.” Write a full, clear sentence, such as “People have good reason to protect endangered animals.”
Task response
You answer both sides and give your own view at the end.
Task response
Your main point about the food chain and nature is clear and on topic.
Coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an end.
Coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words well, such as “However”, “In addition”, “On the contrary”, and “Moreover”.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • extinction
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • natural selection
  • evolution
  • environmental changes
  • endangered species
  • conservation
  • habitat destruction
  • ecological balance
  • genetic diversity
  • responsibility
  • accelerate
  • species adaptation
  • butterfly effect
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