New technologies and ways of buying and selling goods are transforming the lives of consumers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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A statement asserts that new technologies and the market system are changing the lives of customers. Personally, I wholeheartedly agree with

this

statement. I believe that

this

digital era has hugely transformed consumers' ways of shopping. The availability of online market platforms and virtual banking

contributes

Change the verb form

contribute

show examples

to the shift in buyers' behaviours.

Firstly

, technological advancements have given the opportunities for entrepreneurs to initiate the creation of online market applications. These platforms provide a new space for retailers to sell their products virtually.

Therefore

, with global accessibility, individuals will easily search for their targeted items digitally and purchase them directly without having to visit any physical store.

This

condition

further

makes consumers feel convenient and transforms their ways of purchasing goods.

Secondly

, virtual bankings affect the reliance of customers on their smartphones to pay for their goods.

This

option is quite preferable compared to reaching an automated teller machine which requires plenty of time and effort. In fact, QRIS, which is a barcode-based transaction system which is available in most mobile bankings, has vastly contributed to a fewer ATM utilization in Indonesia.

Furthermore

, most markets and shops already provide

this

payment option.

Hence

, the figure of buyers that choose

this

method has elevated. In conclusion, the transformation of consumers' lives did happen

due to

furtherance

Correct article usage

the furtherance

show examples

of technology and transactional interactions,

such

as the development of digital markets and virtual banks.

Moreover

, with the speed of today's technology, it is possible that more noticeable advancements might be introduced in the years ahead.

Submitted by jelitasofiaz on Fri Jan 19 2024

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coherence cohesion

Maintain consistency in tense usage to avoid confusion.

coherence cohesion

Develop ideas further with a more varied range of sentence structures and cohesive devices.

task achievement

Illustrate your points with more detailed and tangible examples to provide depth.

task achievement

Ensure that the conclusion succinctly summarises the essay's main points and reiterates your opinion clearly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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New technologies and ways of buying and selling goods are transforming the lives of consumers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In a number of countries some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing high speed railway lines for inter-city travel. Others believe this money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Write the advantages and disadvantages of child labour.

Many feel that going to gym is the best way to stay fit. Other think there are more efective methods. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Importance should be given to the academic subjects by the schools. Music and sports should not be as a subject. Do you agree or disagree. Give reasons and examples for your answer.