Many manufactured food and drink product contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary product should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #product #level #sugar #health #people

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

A large number of factory-made goods are high in sugar, which contributes to plenty of

health

Use synonyms

issues. One way to deal with

such

Linking Words

a problem is to increase the price of these

products

Use synonyms

for customers to discourage them from using them. I personally presume that raising the cost of sugar-based commodities can be encouraging

people

Use synonyms

to use them less as well as motivate them to have more healthy habits.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss the reasons for that. With the increasing commercial industry, many manufacturers advertise their

products

Use synonyms

in enticing ways to raise the level of their business without caring about

people

Use synonyms

’s

health

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is the authorities’ responsibility to tackle

this

Linking Words

problem and one way to do so is to levelling up the cost of sugary goods especially drinks in order to stop society from having them.

This

Linking Words

will be practical, since

people

Use synonyms

have to spend a high amount of money and at least the mass who can not afford it, stop taking a lot of these

products

Use synonyms

and

as a result

Linking Words

, there is a better

health

Use synonyms

status for the community.

For instance

Linking Words

, coke and soda contain a lot of sugar which is really unhealthy to take daily and they are bought by a large group of

people

Use synonyms

especially youngsters every day causing a lot of

health

Use synonyms

-related issues.

Moreover

Linking Words

, when children are deprived of having these

products

Use synonyms

at school due to expenses which they have to pay, it leads to a more healthy generation in the future. To achieve

this

Linking Words

, the principles of schools can eliminate commodities from pupils’ diets and replace them with more nutritious food like natural juice and milk which are really helpful for their bodies, so that they will decrease the number of obese

people

Use synonyms

in the future generation.

In particular

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

is the case for many schools around the UK these days to have more healthy eating and drinking habits amongst their students.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are opponents to

this

Linking Words

idea who argue that

people

Use synonyms

should have their own right to choose what they want to consume or have. They believe that society should feel free to get what they want regardless of the consequences. They

also

Linking Words

add when

this

Linking Words

choice is taken from

people

Use synonyms

they feel restricted and they may even act the opposite and take more of that.

Hence

Linking Words

, they must be left to freely opt for what they desire.

This

Linking Words

will result in a more mentally cheerful community, which is more beneficial for the whole society as they assume. To conclude, it seems to me that overpriced unhealthy food and drink can be deterrent to

people

Use synonyms

who consume them daily

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that it conduces to better

health

Use synonyms

for the whole population of a country

although

Linking Words

many contend that it is human rights violations.

Submitted by TUTOO on Tue May 10 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

463 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

overconsumption
sugar tax
health implications
obesity
diabetes
tooth decay
regressive tax
awareness campaigns
product labeling
public health
economic impact
preventive measures
caloric intake
nutritional education
consumption patterns
lifestyle diseases

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to the cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
The occurrence of urbanization has impacts on the population in the countryside which are mostly decided to move to the cities. This development has both negative and positive effects on society. However, though urbanization has some disadvantages, it is strongly believed that its benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
8
band
Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission outweighthe diadvantages ?
Nowadays, while a large number of museums charge entry fees, others offer free admission. In my view, this is a positive trend that will lead to an increased demand for museums in general and exhibitions in particular. In this essay, we will discuss the pros and cons.
7.5
band
Students should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass exams, and skills such as cooking or dressing should not be taught. To what extent do you agree/disagree?
At present, many believe that educational knowledge must be more prior to candidates in order to succeed in exams rather than enhancing skills and teaching activities such as cooking or dressing. Personally, I think both academic and other tasks should also be taught in a balanced manner.
5
band
In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors and there is a lack of a sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?
In the modern world it is argued that entertainers get paid more as compared to other industries. Entertainers here includes a talent professional, a sports person which can be a cricketer who has a unique talent to win matches. It also includes film star, singer or a comedian. While few people feel that its not true that entertainers are overpaid. In this essay, I would discuss about the contradicting views.
5
band
Many cities are loosing natural environment due to the effect of over-population and ubranisation. In this essay will delve in to the benefits for protecting these places and put forward some practical solutions to tackle this issue
Many cities are loosing natural environment due to the effect of over-population and ubranisation. In this essay will delve in to the benefits for protecting these places and put forward some practical solutions to tackle this issue

Many manufactured food and drink product contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary product should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to the cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission outweighthe diadvantages ?

Students should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass exams, and skills such as cooking or dressing should not be taught. To what extent do you agree/disagree?

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors and there is a lack of a sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

Many cities are loosing natural environment due to the effect of over-population and ubranisation. In this essay will delve in to the benefits for protecting these places and put forward some practical solutions to tackle this issue