Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefilt teenagers and community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefilt

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It is argued that

teenagers

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should need to

volunteer

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tovolunteer

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do unpaid

community

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volunteer

work

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in their free time in their local

community

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. I totally agree with

this

Linking Words

statement as it could be an opportunity for

teenagers

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to learn and develop their

skills

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and

in addition

Linking Words

, get to know the people around them and make connections from doing unpaid

work

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as well as serving the

community

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in which they live

Change preposition

apply

show examples

. On the one hand, there are many benefits for

teenagers

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to learn and prepare themselves to do

work

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in the real world by doing unpaid

community

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work

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. Give reasons,

then

Linking Words

an example.

For example

Linking Words

firstly

Linking Words

teenagers

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will get an idea of how to use their knowledge and apply the

skills

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they have learnt from the

school

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in real life by doing

community

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work

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such

Linking Words

as at

school

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events.

Secondly

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, these

community

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work

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assignments could help them to develop communication

skills

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that they could use after graduation.

Thirdly

Linking Words

, they could make connections with many people in the

community

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while they are doing unpaid

community

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work

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chores . The connections they make could lead them to get paid

work

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employment when they finish

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graduate from

school

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and start to look for a job.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it is arguable that they could do paid

work

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during their free time

instead

Linking Words

of doing volunteer

work

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Firstly

Linking Words

, the paid

work

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will help them to earn more money and they could help to support their family for daily living expenses.

Secondly

Linking Words

, they could learn to manage their money while they are doing paid

work

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tasks .

This

Linking Words

could help them to learn money management

skills

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which they could use to manage their daily life in the future. In conclusion, in my opinion, it may not be necessary to get

teenagers

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to get paid

work

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employment while they are studying at

school

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. They could learn

work

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skills

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while they are doing unpaid

work

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without getting pressure from

work

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Submitted by hpisit on Wed May 11 2022

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

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Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefilt teenagers and community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender

Art classess, such as paiting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Causes of bullying in school are increasing and worsening. What do you think are the causes of this? How can we tackle this issue?

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?