Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

It is common knowledge that some types of animals are nearing extinction and others are facing the approximation of the same situation.
This
essay will describe the main reasons and provide relevant solutions for
this
phenomenon.
Firstly
, the primary factor behind the risk of endangerment of wildlife is the black market. Illegal hunters are aimed to kill as many innocent beings as possible for money.
Furthermore
, research has shown that the animal population has severely decreased in the
last
50 years because of poachers, who sell different body parts of the endangered creatures. One effective strategy could be for governments to impose strict laws and harsh penalties,
such
as imprisonment, and to create special anti-hunting forces, that will control any illegitimate activities towards animals.
Secondly
, another reason for the disappearance of the beasts is deforestation, which causes many species to lose their natural habitat.
For example
, nowadays snow leopards are critically endangered in Russia because of the constant forest cleaning, these big cats are now forced to relocate to different areas for survival, and many of them, unfortunately, do not make it to that point.
Additionally
, evidence suggests that the establishment of state-owned conservation programs would help to save both flora and fauna of the specific regions
as well as
interfere with the illegal capturing of wildlife.
Finally
, governments should be concerned about the safety of endangered animals and enact certain solid regulations.
Also
, authorities need to launch organizations to track hunters and open environmental welfare projects.
Submitted by nyannche on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and complete response to the task, discussing reasons for the endangerment of animals and offering solutions. However, it's important to ensure that each point is fully developed and supports the main argument for a higher task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your coherence and cohesion by ensuring each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next. While your points are logically structured, they can benefit from clearer topic sentences that link to the thesis statement, and better transitions between ideas.
task achievement
The essay does a good job of addressing both parts of the task: reasons behind animal endangerment and possible solutions.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical structure in the essay, with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each body paragraph presents a distinct main point.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant and specific examples, such as the case of snow leopards in Russia, which add depth to the argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • endangered animals
  • biodiversity
  • habitat loss
  • deforestation
  • urbanization
  • poaching
  • illegal wildlife trade
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • conservation efforts
  • legislation
  • enforcement
  • human overpopulation
  • sustainable development
  • responsible consumption
  • education
  • awareness programs
  • protected areas
  • wildlife reserves
  • international cooperation
  • collaboration
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