Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

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It is common knowledge that some types of animals are nearing extinction and others are facing the approximation of the same situation.

This

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essay will describe the main reasons and provide relevant solutions for

this

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phenomenon.

Firstly

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, the primary factor behind the risk of endangerment of wildlife is the black market. Illegal hunters are aimed to kill as many innocent beings as possible for money.

Furthermore

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, research has shown that the animal population has severely decreased in the

last

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50 years because of poachers, who sell different body parts of the endangered creatures. One effective strategy could be for governments to impose strict laws and harsh penalties,

such

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as imprisonment, and to create special anti-hunting forces, that will control any illegitimate activities towards animals.

Secondly

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, another reason for the disappearance of the beasts is deforestation, which causes many species to lose their natural habitat.

For example

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, nowadays snow leopards are critically endangered in Russia because of the constant forest cleaning, these big cats are now forced to relocate to different areas for survival, and many of them, unfortunately, do not make it to that point.

Additionally

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, evidence suggests that the establishment of state-owned conservation programs would help to save both flora and fauna of the specific regions

as well as

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interfere with the illegal capturing of wildlife.

Finally

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, governments should be concerned about the safety of endangered animals and enact certain solid regulations.

Also

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, authorities need to launch organizations to track hunters and open environmental welfare projects.

Submitted by nyannche on Mon Aug 12 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a clear and complete response to the task, discussing reasons for the endangerment of animals and offering solutions. However, it's important to ensure that each point is fully developed and supports the main argument for a higher task achievement score.

coherence cohesion

Strengthen your coherence and cohesion by ensuring each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next. While your points are logically structured, they can benefit from clearer topic sentences that link to the thesis statement, and better transitions between ideas.

task achievement

The essay does a good job of addressing both parts of the task: reasons behind animal endangerment and possible solutions.

coherence cohesion

There is a logical structure in the essay, with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each body paragraph presents a distinct main point.

task achievement

The essay includes relevant and specific examples, such as the case of snow leopards in Russia, which add depth to the argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

247 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

species extinction
endangered animals
biodiversity
habitat loss
deforestation
urbanization
poaching
illegal wildlife trade
climate change
pollution
conservation efforts
legislation
enforcement
human overpopulation
sustainable development
responsible consumption
education
awareness programs
protected areas
wildlife reserves
international cooperation
collaboration

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Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

Word Count

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of traveling to a workplace every day. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working from home.

Some people think that the main purpose of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit children as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?