Nowadays, tourists and scientists are allowed to travel to remote natural environments. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answers and include example from your own experience?

Tourism
plays a vital role in the
economy
. Nowadays people are more interested in adventure tours. They take time from work and travel to faraway
places
to explore the unexplored. I believe, If we continue to see
this
development, it will thrive the local
economy
. Tourist's preferences have changed a lot. They started travelling to the remote
places
which were once visited only by scientist to carry out their research. They prefer these
places
because of the natural beauty and unexplored.
Due to
this
recent development, there is a significant increase in the local
economy
. Local people are engaged in the
tourism
activity. So, It provides job opportunities for them. These people have immense knowledge of the environment and they play an important role in safeguarding them. They work closely with
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the
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scientist as well, which helps them to enhance their knowledge.
For instance
, When I visited a remote cave, I saw a lot of the local population's daily income is dependent on
tourism
. The natural environments are very fragile ecosystems. If these
places
are not safeguarded, it will wipe off the whole environment. Even though
tourism
is important for the
economy
, We need to consider the potential problems which arise
due to
an increase in the number of
tourists
. If it is going to affect the environment,
then
we need to put restrictions in place to check the number of
tourists
.
For example
, When I visited the coral reef,
tourists
were not allowed to swim. These sorts of restrictions help in preserving nature.
To conclude
, I believe that
tourists
and scientists visiting these remote
places
are important for the development of these remote areas.
While
doing so, ensure these are not exploited.
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task achievement
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, ensure that your ideas in each paragraph are completely developed and supported with more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
While your main points are logically organized, try to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use more linking words and phrases to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Expand on the examples you provide. For instance, explain more about how the local population's daily income is dependent on tourism.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of minor grammar and punctuation issues, such as inconsistent use of capital letters and unnecessary commas. These small corrections can make your essay more polished.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear and relevant focus. You have addressed the topic and provided reasons for your opinion.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong introduction and conclusion that help frame your argument well.

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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