IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In many countries the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How Can we deal with those Cause?

#countries #amount #crime
Apparently, it is being observed in many countries that there is a considerable
increase
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
Replace the word
criminal
show examples
 cases and
such
problem
Correct article usage
a problem
show examples
 has many
causes
 behind it;
however
 main
causes
relate
Change the form of the verb
related
show examples
 to social and economical
factors
.
This
 essay will discuss these
causes
 along with solutions in the impending paragraphs.
To begin
 with, the main cause of
crime
increase
 is the economical
factors
 like unemployment and poverty have contributed a lot
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 criminal activities in society. If
people
 do not have enough money for their survival, they may choose some illegal ways to earn quick money and
this
 will lead them to indulge
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 various crimes.
For Example
, robbing other
people
, kidnapping and unlawful betting.
In addition
, social
factors
 like
effects
Correct article usage
the effects
show examples
 of movies and
influence
Correct article usage
the influence
show examples
 of bad company among
people
 especially
younsters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
 may not be able to take
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 decision and become habitual of committing
crime
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
.
Hence
, they feel pride after doing bad things
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 others.
Consequently
, where there is a rapid
increase
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
,
this
 issue can be solved by taking
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 measures in time. Primarily, in order to control the
crime
Replace the word
criminal
show examples
 cases, there is a need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 combined efforts from
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and companies so
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 both can come up with new plans and policies to
crub
Correct your spelling
curb
scrub
 the issues related to joblessness and poverty. If
people
 have suitable jobs, they may never think about indulging themselves
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 any kind of criminal activity.
Moreover
, there is a need to control the
crime
 promotion in the movies or
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 any media channels in order to decrease the bad impact of these
factors
 on
people
. A survey conducted by Oxford University in March
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 2015 clearly unveiled that 65% of
people
 agreed on the fact that
crime
 rates had been decreasing in the UK since the government put strict restrictions on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
violence promotion in films. To conclude, it is unequivocal that though
crime
Add an article
the crime
show examples
 rate is increasing in myriad countries, some measures can control
this
 issue effectively like appropriate
Correct your spelling
policies
show examples
polices
Correct your spelling
policies
show examples
 and plans to remove economical
causes
 and social
causes
.
Submitted by Mrjit147 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic disparity
  • propensity
  • recidivism
  • deterrent
  • rehabilitative
  • judicial system
  • corruption
  • socioeconomic
  • alienation
  • stigmatization
  • decriminalization
  • enforcement
  • gentrification
  • preemptive measures
  • intervention strategies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: