IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.

#children #countryside #city
When it comes to
children
's raising, it is argued by some people rural
areas
 are a better place than the metro
areas
. If questioned, I disagree with
this
 notion. I would discuss my standpoint in the following paragraphs with some examples. If
children
 grow up in a city
area
, there are several benefits to them.
First
 of all, with regard to education, there are many schools as well as many courses like art, science, and finance available in the metropolitan
area
 as compared to the village. Due to
this
,
children
 can easily decide on their interesting and favourite curriculum.
Secondly
, the amenities
such
 as a theatre house, amusement park, water park, and immense shopping centres are located in the urban
areas
. Because of
this
, they spend their weekend times with joy and happiness,
however
, these facilities are not present in the countryside
area
.
Lastly
, after completing their bachelor's or master's degree they can easily make their career since metropolia
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
hubs
Fix the agreement mistake
hub
show examples
 of industry and company.
On the other hand
, there are few benefits for
children
 living in rural
areas
. Due to the least number of factories and traffic congestion, the rural
area
's air is not polluted as many downtowns.
Consequently
, the survey has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
shown that village offsprings are healthy in order to health as compared to the modernized
area
's
children
.
Furthermore
, a survey has been taken by the physiology doctors that village
children
 are more physically fit than the city
children
 as they do not spend their time watching the television. In conclusion,
although
 there may be a few advantages for
children
 who grow up in the countryside, my arguments clearly indicate that urban
areas
'
children
 have more opportunities.
Submitted by pateldinesh28041998 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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