IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

As technology improves, there will be fewer jobs for people in the future. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#technology #jobs #people #future
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Modern
technology
Use synonyms
 has a significant impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our society. In the past, previous generations did not have the same access to the tools and advancements we benefit
today
Change preposition
from today
show examples
. Nowadays, applied science helps us in many different situations.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
technology
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 has a significant impact on various aspects of our lives.
For example
Linking Words
, at work, we
use
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 the internet or our phones to complete tasks, and every day we rely on laptops or televisions. One of the advantages of
technology
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 is that when we don't know something, we can search for it on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
Additionally
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,
technology
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 helps us communicate with
people
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 around the world, no matter where we are. Nowadays,
technology
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 can perform many roles,
such
Linking Words
 as a virtual teacher or legal assistant.
For example
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, when I visited a restaurant in China, I was served by a robot, which was a unique experience.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, modern
technology
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 has changed the way
people
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 think, and it has introduced new problems like cyberbullying.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
people
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 are exposed to many things online that can negatively affect their health. One of the disadvantages of modern
technology
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 is that it makes
people
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 increasingly lazy.
For example
Linking Words
, at my school, my classmates often
use
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 ChatGPT to complete their homework, which I feel is unfair because they receive high grades
while
Linking Words
 I don’t.
Moreover
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, my teachers
also
Linking Words
use
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this
Linking Words
 tool, but they don't mention that they rely on it for their work. In conclusion, modern
technology
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 was created to help us, but we need to
use
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 it in moderation;
otherwise
Linking Words
, we might become too dependent on it, almost like robots in the future. Words : 260
Submitted by acaitaz on

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task achievement
Provide a clearer stance on whether you agree or disagree with the statement in the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Ensure all paragraphs directly address the essay question about future job prospects due to technology.
coherence cohesion
Achieve better coherence by linking the second paragraph's content with the essay question more directly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets the context of technology's impact.
task achievement
Examples, like the robot in China, add specificity and interest.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion provides a personal perspective on balanced technology use.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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