IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #cities #people’s #health
Some
people
 believe that point, the diary life for those who have activities in big capital
cities
 is unhealthy than those who live in the countryside or small
cities
. I strongly disagree with that, in big
cities
, they have a lot of
people
also
 they always have convenience for emergencies. I will be discussing
this
 viewpoint for many reasons, described in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
, to support my point of view in the big
cities
 or capital
cities
 there have a number of hospitals and many experienced doctors and protectives can handle the exigent problem.
However
, big
cities
 have a lot of
people
thus
 accidents it does not control, and many massive industries that make some toxic in the air and cause pollution due to the globalization in the present and future. That result will make it unhealthy too.
In addition
,
people
 who live in big
cities
 usually get mental health because they do not have free
time
 to attend to their meals or work out because employment moves all the
time
.
Secondly
, for benefit of the big city have many department stores around the
cities
. Useful technology to develop conveniently,
for example
, fresh vegetables and juices machine for the drinker in a short
time
.
Moreover
, the payment everything they need to outlay the online method and transport within three days left in big
cities
. In conclusion, even though diary life in big
cities
 is not good for health, and disadvantages
people
 for a long
time
.
However
, the big
cities
 are safer when having an accident, and more convenient for
people
's life.
Submitted by pnnp on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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