IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

some people say that advertising is extremely successfull at persuading us to buy things. other peoplr think advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #successfull #peoplr #attention
Although
 it is thought by some
people
 that advertisement is influential in manipulating society. Others believe that advertising has become too ordinary to affect
people
. In my opinion, it is still an effective way to attract customers
towards
Change preposition
to
show examples
 products.
This
 essay with discuss both views and provide details to substantiate my view.
To begin
 with, advertising is the key part of modern business.
Therefore
, it creates demand for products.
Moreover
, it aims to persuade folks that buying a product will make them happier.
In other words
, we get encouraged to associate certain brands with a higher status, or to follow the latest trends since advert companies use glamorous and successful
people
 or celebrities.
Consequently
, advertisements have a great influence on us even though we are not always conscious of it.
On the contrary
, society is becoming more aware of the advertisement traps through having the opportunity to search on google for valid information.
In addition
, nowadays
people
 face a large number of ads everywhere
such
 as in newspapers, television, or various social media platforms which makes
this
 boring and
people
 wouldn't pay attention in the long run. In conclusion,
however
, commercials have become too common that citizens started being conscious of them, there is no doubt that they can still be successful in some ways.
Submitted by aymankhalaily on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Consumer behavior
  • Marketing strategies
  • Brand awareness
  • Psychological impact
  • Target audience
  • Commercialization
  • Sensory overload
  • Selective perception
  • Cognitive dissonance
  • Ad fatigue
What to do next:
Look at other essays: