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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many cities, the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks?

#cities #video #cameras #places #crime #people #measures #freedom #security
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Recent decades have witnessed an ever-increasing number of crimes in many cities worldwide, and using surveillance
cameras
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 has been considered an effective solution to improve
this
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 status.
Although
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 some
people
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 argue that
this
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 invades their privacy, in my opinion, the beneficial effects of installing
video
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cameras
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 outweigh its disadvantages. On the one hand, there are several compelling reasons why some
people
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 are concerned about individual freedom being restricted when
video
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cameras
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 are installed around the cities, especially in public areas. The images of our faces or movements are recorded by security organizations, and they are willing to open and analyze them in detail when necessary.
Besides
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, in some cases, the thought of constantly being observed and monitored could cause discomfort.
For example
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, some
people
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 are obsessed with the imagination that there is somebody following them in the long term, which can result in mental health issues,
such
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 as anxiety or obsessive-compulsive disorder. Despite the above arguments, I believe that CCTV
cameras
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 play an essential role in fighting crime since they greatly contribute to the protection of
people
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 from threats.
Video
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cameras
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 have more considerable benefits than traditional surveillance, namely, security operators can quickly identify risky situations and stop them early thanks to informing stakeholders to support them. With the aid of
video
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cameras
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, responses are shortened, and law enforcement can intervene sooner, thereby mitigating the risk of harm before it escalates.
Consequently
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, increased camera surveillance leads to early detection, prompt intervention, and more effective crime prevention. In conclusion, it seems to me that we gain more than we lose from the enhanced security that CCTV
cameras
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 bring to our cities.
Submitted by oanhhkpsy on

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task achievement
Ensure that your main points are supported with more detailed explanations and specific examples to fully develop your argument.
coherence cohesion
Make use of a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing more effectively to enhance the logical flow of ideas throughout.
task achievement
When discussing the disadvantages, consider adding more concrete examples or data to provide a balanced perspective and improve the development of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Surveillance cameras
  • Public safety
  • Deterrent
  • Evidence collection
  • Apprehend perpetrators
  • Public spaces
  • Invasion of privacy
  • Civil liberties
  • Abuse of power
  • Misuse
  • Cost implications
  • Monitoring
  • Maintenance
  • Essential services
  • Justice system
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