Scientists agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people while others believe that education will not work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, researchers are convinced that the consumption of fast food has led to many detrimental health problems.
Therefore
, many states that educating people can tackle
this
issue easily;
however
, others disagree. The following essay will discuss both views of
this
phenomenon and claim my own opinion. It is obvious that educating people having healthier fat options and diets is necessary. Many citizens need to be taught about the benefits and drawbacks of convenience cuisine.
In addition
, they are aware of the consequences of
this
snack
such
as obesity. To cite an instance, because of the rapid development of society, residents are busier and busier;
hence
, it is easier to just buy inexpensive meals in the supermarkets or get some takeaway.
Moreover
, because they can control their intake of harmful fats, fast food influences slightly on them.
On the other hand
, education is not only an effective method in order to alleviate
this
problem. Many companies should produce less fast cooking or the government needs to increase the taxes on
this
type of fare. Implementing junk foodstuff tends to healthier alternatives, perhaps even being encouraged to cook at home and lose weight.
Additionally
, unless humans can realize that
this
kind of cuisine is detrimental to their health, they will have worse health including having a heart attack in order to take part in various outdoor activities. In conclusion, a convenient diet is more popular around the world because it can be prepared and served quickly. Notwithstanding, I strongly believe that humans need to be educated about both the positive and negative effects of
this
type of food, especially children and teenagers.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly link each paragraph back to the central argument. This will help improve coherence.
task achievement
The points made would be more convincing with specific examples or data. For example, citing specific studies or statistics about the health impacts of fast food would provide stronger support.
task achievement
The overall message of the essay is clear, but some sentences can be rewritten for greater clarity. For instance, phrases like 'having healthier fat options' could be simplified to 'making healthier food choices'.
coherence cohesion
The introduction gives a clear outline of the essay’s structure and intent.
coherence cohesion
Each body paragraph is organized logically, addressing one side of the argument before presenting a counter-argument.
task achievement
The essay is successful in creating a balanced discussion of the issue, presenting both views fairly.
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