IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think schools should teach students to form good behavior in addition to providing normal education. Do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying that the education sector is playing a fundamental role in human life. Many
community
Change to a plural noun
communities
show examples
 have different outlooks regarding that institutions must guide pupils about good
manners
Use synonyms
 and other courses as well. I totally agree with the statement, and
this
Linking Words
 essay will elucidate some points in upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, society have been believing that some subjects like math, science, physics and many more should be mandatory in the academic zone because these courses not only develop thinking levels but
also
Linking Words
 make a better future for students. To elaborate, many people are good in physics and math subjects,
as well as
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 they can get master’s degrees in these fields to become teachers and professors in their career.
For instance
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, a survey was conducted by the United States in 2010 and revealed that 50% of learners, who had completed their higher graduation in math, chose a teaching pathway.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, schools are students’ second homes where she or he can gain ethical values and good behaviour. To explain that, during the study period, children communicate with their classmates and tutors in institutions which is why teachers guide them in effective communication skills and basic moral values like how to talk with family members and other society people.
In addition
Linking Words
, by learning basic
manners
Use synonyms
 and good behaviour, pupils can build strong bonds with other
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
. In conclusion, to become a successful person, students must absorb respectful
manners
Use synonyms
 and behaviour skills, and they should obtain knowledge in the academic sector. I accept, that these
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
things are connected with each other so schools must teach basic
manners
Use synonyms
 and academic subjects.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider using a variety of cohesive devices to strengthen the connections between ideas. Terms like 'Moreover' or 'Furthermore' could help in providing a smoother flow.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is supported by examples. Some points could benefit from further elaboration or specific details to enhance understanding.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your agreement with the statement and outlines the purpose of the essay well.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates the importance of both academic and ethical education.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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