The cultures of many countries around the world become more similar than they used to be. What are the reasons for this trend? Is it positive or negative?
It is true that many aspects of
cultures
have become increasingly similar throughout the world
, which can be explained by the influence of western
societies. Capitalize word
Western
This
essay will elaborate on this
phenomenon and explain why we should be cautious about it.
Undeniably, all cultures
have been increasingly influenced by western
values. Capitalize word
Western
Firstly
, important platforms that facilitate the spread of information are ubiquitously developed by western
countries, which will largely benefit the popularity of Capitalize word
Western
western
Capitalize word
Western
cultures
worldwide. For example
, the video website Youtube
claims that they are an open platform. Correct your spelling
YouTube
However
, the fact is that there’s significantly more English content produced by Americans and Europeans than that made by creaters
from other nations and regions. As Correct your spelling
creators
creatures
people
from all over the world
consume these similar types of content, the culture they represent will be more mainstreamed
. Replace the word
mainstream
Secondly
, multinational companies of western
origins Capitalize word
Western
also
contribute to cultural assimilation as their products are made available across the globe. The best example is the fast-food chain McDonald which has become part of the childhood memories of kids all over the world
.
I believe that similarity in culture can be detrimental in several ways. First of all, many nations are risking losing their traditional cultures
. As more people
pursue a western
way of living, traditional customs will receive less attention generation by generation. Today in China, more young Capitalize word
Western
people
like drinking coffee than tea, which is a huge loss as China boasts of a rich tea-drinking heritage. In addition
, the world
would be a boring place without cultural diversity. People
won’t be too excited about travelling anymore because what they’ll see and experience won’t be much different.
In summary, I find cultures
of many nations have become increasingly westernized
mainly Capitalize word
Westernized
due to
the influence of western
media and conglomerates, which can be detrimental to cultural diversity and the survival of traditional Capitalize word
Western
cultures
.Submitted by siqichen14 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay does present an overall logical structure; however, the development of ideas can be further improved to create a more cohesive argument. Try to connect your points more clearly. Use a wider range of linking phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs, which can lead to higher coherence and cohesion scores.
task achievement
Make sure you address all parts of the task in your response. While your essay discusses reasons for the trend and mentions the negative effects, it lacks a detailed exploration of both sides of the argument. Providing a stronger balance by discussing both the positive and negative implications of cultural similarity would enhance your task achievement score. Moreover, it is important to provide specific examples which are directly relevant to your argument to bolster your main points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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