Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination. Others think money and appearance are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #success #life #work #determination #money #appearance

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It's true that the factors to achievement are becoming a common feature. There is a view that hard work and persistence are crucial to accomplishment, while other people believe that

money

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and

appearance

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are more significant. I support the former. Admittedly, success in life coming from

money

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and

appearance

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is reasonable to some extent.

To begin

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with, it's true that

money

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and

appearance

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are some shortcuts to success.

For example

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, some children born into rich families can facilitate more advanced resources,

such

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as elite education quality, living quality and the like.

Furthermore

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, they are available to travel abroad to enrich their horizons, giving them adequate opportunities to foster their competence.

However

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, others hold that fame depends on hard trial and determination. I totally support

this

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view. As an old saying goes, the road to fame mustn't be comfortable and smooth, which is inevitable to meeting all varieties of difficulties, having a higher demand of a person's perseverance and diligence.

Besides

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, there is no denying that the majority of outstanding people were born into ordinary families with a plain

appearance

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, while they tried their best to endeavour hard day by day and strived for ambitions with a stubborn determination, not fearing trouble ahead. Only in

this

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way can we manage to succeed in what we have been dreaming of,

although

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the time is full of sweat and tears. In conclusion,

although

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some people hold that

money

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and

appearance

Use synonyms

are more important, I am still convinced that hard work and determination are the key point to success.

Submitted by lzy2564739 on Sun May 15 2022

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination. Others think money and appearance are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems.

The funds for postgraduate research are limited; therefore some people think that the government should provide financial support. In their opinion, only scientific research should be funded, rather than other less useful subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Why do many people visit museums when they travel to different countries or cities?