More and more people today are moving away from where their friends and family live. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #friends #trend

Nowadays, a lot of individuals are shifting away from the places where their family and friends reside. I believe that

positive

Correct article usage

the positive

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aspects of

this

trend have precedence over its drawbacks.

Firstly

, it is indeed very common these days that people move

Change preposition

apply

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overseas for work or for

betterment

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the betterment

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of their family. Undoubtedly, it has many positive aspects

such

as getting a higher position at work which gives an individual a feeling of

self achievement

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self-achievement

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. Other than

this

people explore new places and get to know about the culture and the traditions of other countries.

For instance

, nowadays many people from Asian countries are moving to the places

such

as Dubai or Saudi Arabia as they get good job opportunities as well as higher pay scales.

Therefore

, I strongly believe

this

kind of change has more advantages considering the career and

work life

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work-life

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balance.

On the other hand

, it has negative aspects too. Moving away from family and friends makes

person

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a person

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lonely. They definitely get deprived of

love

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the love

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, care and affection which they

recieve

Correct your spelling

receive

received

from their family and friends. In some

cases

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,cases

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it may lead to depression

also

. To illustrate, a study was conducted in America where most of the cases of depression were recorded at the time of

pandemic

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the pandemic

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. The main reason behind

this

was their loneliness as many individuals were not able to meet their family and relatives over a long period of time. In conclusion,

although

living away from your folks is very hard but on the other

side

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,side

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it gives you chance to explore

new

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a new

the new

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world and to avail

better

Correct pronoun usage

yourself better

show examples

opportunities for living a much finer life.

Submitted by drvishal13 on Sun May 15 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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