Many parents are buying too many toys for their children. To what extent is this negative or positive for children?

#parents #toys #children

In today’s world,

toys

have become an indispensable part of our

children

’s lives.

Accordingly

, the majority of

children

are surrounded by a wide variety of

toys

purchased by their parents. In my personal view,

this

large number of

toys

would be more detrimental

for

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children

. On the negative side, what

this

vast quantity of playthings among

children

could lead to is Jeopardizing their health.

In other words

, since they cannot resist playing with their captivating

toys

making them sit for a long time,

this

immobility can pose some devastating health problems

such

as obesity, high blood pressure or other major physical issues.

Moreover

, some mental illnesses in

children

might stem from

such

entertaining tools provided by parents.

This

means that

children

can easily become hypnotized by their

toys

and so immersed in playing that have no time to socialize or interact with their peers, leading to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

lack of social skills that make them feel the

senses

Fix the agreement mistake

sense

show examples

of loneliness , isolation and depression in the long run.

On the other hand

, providing too many

toys

For

children

may have some positive effects on their creativity.

This

is because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

multiple

toys

are wisely created with educational purposes to develop

children

’s brain function and cognitive abilities.

For instance

, a plethora of parents

are

Change the verb form

show examples

purchasing

toys

in order to teach their

children

how to count or read in a constructive and attractive way, making them more enthusiastic about learning various things effortlessly, as these playthings are innovatively designed to help

children

become more creative. In conclusion,

although

buying too many kinds of

toys

for

children

may bring about some advantages, its drawbacks outweigh its merits, as they can lead to some inevitable chronic physical and mental health problems for

children

Submitted by shahlad on Mon May 16 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many parents are buying too many toys for their children. To what extent is this negative or positive for children?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people argue that the content of what children watch on television primarily influences their behavior, while others believe that it is the amount of time children spend watching television that has a greater impact on their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You have a problem with a recently hired employee in your workplace. Write a letter to the HR manager. In your letter: Describe the problem the new employee has caused Explain how other employees about the new employee’s conduct Say how you expect the HR manager to address the situation.

Some people think that online reading materials are better for children. Others argues that traditional paper based resources are better. Discuss and give your opinion.

Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks, and motorcycles are banned from the city center. Public transportation like buses, taxis, and metros are advised. To what extent do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?