As science and technology contribute most to the development of society, science students should get more financial support from government than students in other fields (eg. business, language, etc.). To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is an irrefutable fact that
science
plays a vital role in developing a healthy society. To foster the development of communities,
science
students
should be aided by the government and other social organisations. In
this
essay, I will argue that
students
from
science
backgrounds demand financial and logistic support to build an updated and financially developed nation
however
,
students
from other departments have
also
taken into account. The world is updated day by day—
students
from
top- class
Correct your spelling
top-class
show examples
countries who are leading the world in technology, mostly from
science
backgrounds. They are getting adequate financial support and other benefits
in contrast
to other graduates to strengthen their techniques and study. Authorities are investing a significant amount of their financial budget into research and technological sites of
science
divisions. To illustrate, Japan is currently leading the automobile industry because its government is investing an increased amount of funds to motivate its scholars.
Therefore
,
science
graduates can develop their countries
up- to-
Correct your spelling
up to
show examples
date and make their communities smart and
tech- driven
Correct your spelling
tech-driven
show examples
by utilizing their enriched knowledge and skills. Another major important reason is to develop a wealthy economy by providing support to the educators of the
science
platform.
Students
who will receive an abundant amount of financial and logistic assistance with the latest technological amenities will acquire better practical lessons and experiences than any other group of
students
as a consequence
they will develop plenty of demanding innovations that will significantly uplift their country's economy. The USA can be a perfect example for other countries that are grabbing the maximum portion of the IT Industry
due to
their advanced equipment and high numbers of investments in their
science
sectors.
To conclude
, it is worth investing in the
science
field to enhance the skills of
students
compared to other groups in terms of resulting in a developed and financially solvent nation. In my opinion, those
students
should be assisted by both the government and other local financial organizations.
Submitted by hashi4728 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Make sure to address both sides of the argument by providing a balanced view or a clearer rationale for your position regarding the supporting students from other fields. Your essay leans heavily towards supporting science students, and could benefit from examining the implications or reasons why other fields should also receive financial support.
Coherence & Cohesion
Focus on paragraphing and the logical progression of ideas. While your essay flows fairly well, refining the connection between supporting points and your main thesis could help enhance coherence. Consider using more varied sentence structures and transitional phrases to weave ideas together more smoothly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • development
  • society
  • financial support
  • science students
  • other fields
  • government
  • equal
  • pursue
  • scientific studies
  • balanced approach
  • academic qualifications
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!