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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
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There is no doubt that these days
children
Use synonyms
 are affected by modern technology, which sometimes interferes with making them beneficial members of society. A faction of the populace holds the notion that it is the responsibility of
parents
Use synonyms
 to up-bring their
children
Use synonyms
 to be valuable citizens. Whereas other think that
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
 institutions play the prime role. In
this
Linking Words
 ,
essay
Add an article
an essay
the essay
show examples
 I am going to examine
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon from both viewpoints. On the one hand of
this
Linking Words
 argument, there are people who argue that
parents
Use synonyms
 should teach their
children
Use synonyms
 to be effective citizens. The main reason for believing
this
Linking Words
 is that juveniles are spending the majority of their time at younger ages with
Use synonyms
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,
children
Use synonyms
 have a general tendency to copy their
Use synonyms
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
behaviours or attitudes.
Children
Use synonyms
 of law obeying
parents
Use synonyms
 are more inclined towards following laws is the best epitome of the aforementioned case.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 possible to consider it with
an opposing cases
Correct the article-noun agreement
an opposing case
opposing cases
show examples
. It is often argued that young ones are spending more time in
school
Use synonyms
 than at home so the
school
Use synonyms
 has to do a major role in raising ideal
children
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, at ,
Use synonyms
school
Add an article
the school
a school
show examples
 they are facing several situations wherein they have to take
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
quick and wise decisions and mentors are only providing feedback for these actions. For instant case, nowadays a young one is spending around ten hours in
school
Use synonyms
 or daycare and major events of their day are
completing
Wrong verb form
completed
show examples
 outside the home. In conclusion, both
parents
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 and education institutions have a pivotal role in moulding a child into an effective member of society. I tend to believe that
parents
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 and schools should work together in order to create the best citizen as both of them have an influence on the
children
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by jinmatttom on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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