Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #music #culture #ages

Music

is one of the best medicine for human life.

Moreover

, some of them declare that various cultures and age groups can unify because of

songs

and other musical arts. While others give their opposition about

this

This

essay will focus on these views and eventually I will give my opinion too.

To begin

with, wherever people have a notion that

songs

are able to unite communities around the world. Particularly, they think

music

has the power to express their humanity, love, friendships and so on.

For example

, currently, Srilanka has faced economic crises due to

the

Correct article usage

apply

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political

corruptions

Fix the agreement mistake

corruption

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and citizens have tried to express their opposition against the government by song.

Consequently

, it paves the way to speed uniqueness and peace among the communities to tackle problems in society.

On the other hand

, others believe that

music

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not able to make uniqueness among Pepe because that variations in age groups

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are

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the major issue for

this

. Whenever grown adults always try to listen

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80s and 90s

songs

rather than new

trendings

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trends

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However

, youngsters are

intrest

Correct your spelling

interested

listen

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tolisten

show examples

western cultures like hip-hop, jazz and so on.

For instance

, when the public

are

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given their opinion about what

songs

are the best nowadays, we can

observed

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observe

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they create against thoughts among them.

Therefore

definitely

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,definitely

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it will never help to make

peacefulness

Replace the word

peace

show examples

. In conclusion, from my perspective, I believe there is a good and bad

results

Correct the article-noun agreement

result

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music

Add an article

the music

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industry which some

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apply

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people

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the people

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think

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encourage

Correct subject-verb agreement

encourages

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to bring anyone together. If we have

capability

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the capability

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to use

this

in a positive manner, it will become

Add an article

a more

show examples

powerful weapon for our lives.

Submitted by skrodrigo030 on Tue May 17 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural diversity
harmony
integration
bridging gaps
foster
ignite
embrace
communicate
celebrate
appreciate
inclusivity
universal language
emotional resonance
shared experiences
intercultural dialogue
intergenerational connections
cultural exchange
catalyst

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