IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

To what extent has the internet made life more convenient? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#internet #life
It is true that the
internet
 has grown extensively beyond recognition in recent years. Most people all around the world have access to the
internet
 network, spanning from children to older individuals. Obviously, life has never been easier during the history of human beings on the planet, thanks to the benefits of
internet
 usage. I
therefore
 agree with
this
 idea, attempting to outline some key reasons for
this
.
Firstly
, the World Wide Web has mostly had positive effects on education globally. Accessibility to the
internet
 helps students, regardless of their degrees and majors, access a wealth of information available in the virtual space. They can save time by just connecting to the
internet
 easily, using their smartphones to download the books or data they look for in the comfort of their home.
However
, it was challenging to find rare manuscripts in the past, making it difficult for students to improve their knowledge.
Secondly
, communication is affected significantly by the existence of the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. Presently, most people are capable of communicating with another individual wherever they are by only making a video or voice call or sending a message in a moment.
This
 is apparently much more convenient rather than sending letters or
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 for days to meet other people, which our older generations used to do.
Finally
, the progress of the
internet
 has positively affected the healthcare system, making it far easier for patients and their family members to find appropriate specialist doctors and acquire information about suitable kinds of drugs. There are many helpful applications administering drugs and numerous forums in which you can find helpful experiences of other patients with similar diseases. In conclusion, I believe that the advent of the
internet
 has increasingly made mankind’s life way more convenient compared to other eras in history.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Task Achievement
Start by ensuring a more dynamic introduction. Your opening statement is good, but incorporating a rhetorical question or a surprising fact could make it more engaging.
Task Achievement
In supporting your main points, consider integrating a wider range of examples from both personal experiences and global phenomena. This will enrich your argument's robustness.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve your essay's flow by adding more transitional phrases between ideas to strengthen the linkage. For Coherence and Cohesion, this will make your argument more seamless.
Coherence & Cohesion
To amplify coherence, try to develop your paragraphs around a single main idea, ensuring each sentence contributes directly to the argument you're making in that paragraph.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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