Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is commonly believed that having enough
money
Use synonyms
is most important for our happy
life
Use synonyms
and many
people
Use synonyms
would not deny
this
Linking Words
fact.
However
Linking Words
,there are
also
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
may
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
other things that bring us
satisfaction
Add an article
the satisfaction
a satisfaction
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
our
life
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as having great
health
Use synonyms
and personal achievements for our
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
. In discussing
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
happiness,it is obvious that
money
Use synonyms
is an essential factor as it makes
people
Use synonyms
live conveniently and comfortably, so if they earn plenty of
money
Use synonyms
to be able to have a financially stable
life
Use synonyms
, they do not need to be worried a lack of
money
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
could affect one’s mental
health
Use synonyms
by letting the person
struggeling
Correct your spelling
struggling
with solving his financial problem.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is easy to see that
people
Use synonyms
value having
abundant
Add an article
an abundant
show examples
amount of
money
Use synonyms
the most in their
life
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
many
people
Use synonyms
in our society who live so happily without a lot of
money
Use synonyms
. It is because they believe that
happiness
Correct article usage
the happiness
show examples
of one’s
life
Use synonyms
depends on each mindset, so the
people
Use synonyms
find
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
full satisfaction in their
life
Use synonyms
when they feel a sense of accomplishment from their work or study.
Also
Linking Words
, keeping oneself in good
health
Use synonyms
should be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the priority for a happy
life
Use synonyms
because it is evident that losing
health
Use synonyms
means
to lose
Change the verb form
losing
show examples
everything in our
life
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
demonstrate
Change the verb form
demonstrates
show examples
that we can find happiness without having a lot of
money
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, even though
people
Use synonyms
could be pleased by spending
money
Use synonyms
to have all the things they need, there are many other precious ones
such
Linking Words
as individual achievement and great
health
Use synonyms
that can not be purchased with
money
Use synonyms
for our happy
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by monica750221 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial security
  • Basic needs
  • Comfort
  • Luxury
  • Freedom
  • Altruistic
  • Philanthropy
  • Nurturing relationships
  • Fulfillment
  • Sense of accomplishment
  • Physical well-being
  • Spiritual beliefs
  • Community involvement
  • Gratitude
  • Mindfulness
  • Simple pleasures
What to do next:
Look at other essays: