IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter, • describe the situation • explain your problems and why it is difficult to work • say what kind of accommodation you would prefer

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Dear Sir or Madam, The purpose of my letter is to express my concern regarding the difficulties I am facing
while
Linking Words
 sharing a room with a student from another course.
Although
Linking Words
 sharing a room helps reduce my expenses, living with a student from a different course is creating several disturbances. I have classes early in the morning,
while
Linking Words
 my roommate’s classes usually start late in the evening.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the difference in our schedules is creating a major problem for both of us.
For example
Linking Words
, when I need to sleep, my roommate often needs to study with the lights on.
As a result
Linking Words
, neither of us is able to sleep or study properly. If
this
Linking Words
 issue is not addressed, it could have long-term negative effects on our health and academic performance. I would greatly appreciate it if I could share a room with one of my classmates who has a similar timetable.
This
Linking Words
 would reduce the problem of turning the lights on and off at different times. We could
also
Linking Words
 leave for classes and return at similar times and maintain a regular sleeping schedule. Alternatively, I would prefer a two-bedroom unit so that we could stay in separate rooms without disturbing each other. Thank you for your time and attention to
this
Linking Words
 matter. Please feel free to contact me if you require any
further
Linking Words
 information. I look forward to your response. Yours faithfully, Amilin

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task response
Add one more clear fact about the room, such as noise, space, or study time. This will make the problem feel more real.
task response
Your ask is clear. You could say when you need the new room, for example, as soon as possible.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are in a good order. Use a few more link words such as "also" or "because" to join some short ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The last main part has two possible plans. This is fine, but say which one you want most first.
task response
You answer all three parts: the room, the problems, and the kind of room you want.
task response
The letter has a polite and right tone for a college officer.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear start, main part, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as "Therefore", "For example", and "Alternatively" help the reader follow your ideas.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accommodation officer
  • roommate
  • share a room
  • living arrangement
  • difficult to work
  • noise levels
  • study environment
  • privacy concerns
  • alternative accommodation
  • single room
  • academic performance
  • well-being
  • respectfully request
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