IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#scientists #people #health #junk #food #education #work
Nowadays,
people
 are eating excessive
junk
foods
 which are leading to damage to their health. While educating
people
 with the relevant knowledge of the bad impacts of these rich
foods
 can bring some movement toward diminishing consumption, featuring new organic
foods
 may
also
 be beneficial. I will discuss why only teaching
people
 about the effects of
junk
 food is not a way rather there are some other possible ways too. Many peoples choose
junk
foods
 over organic
foods
 because they have little knowledge about the dangerous sides of
junk
foods
 even if they do not know about the benefits of organic
foods
. If some campaigns can be arranged about the consequences of the damages that might be caused by
junk
foods
 as well as the nutrition of organic
foods
, the consumers will be awarded .
However
, plenty of non-profit organizations are trying to reach out to the regular consumers of
junk
foods
 and deliver information about the health issues related to what they are eating every day. I think only education about
junk
 food's effects can not solve the whole problem. In order to get closer to the solution, we have to deal with the discovery of new organic
foods
. There are less amount of well appealing organic
foods
 than rich
foods
. New tasty environmental food items are needed to be invented in short time periods. Serving the information on the pros and cons of
junk
foods
 to the general public can bring an impactful movement to
this
 problem. In a similar way, giving more options in case of taste and price of organic
foods
 to the daily consumer will
also
 help to break the wall of the problem.
This
 will help the
people
 to live a little longer life.
Submitted by raiyaanabdullah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: