IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

some people think that in a city,the best way to travel is by car ,while other people think that bicycle a re a better way of travelling in the city give reasons to answers

#people #city #travel #car #bicycle #re #answers
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While
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 some argue that
cars
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 provide unparalleled convenience, others believe
bicycles
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 are more practical and sustainable. Deciding between these two modes of transport depends on personal needs, city infrastructure, and environmental considerations.
Cars
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 are often
favored
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favoured
show examples
 for their speed, comfort, and adaptability to diverse situations.
For instance
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, a parent juggling school drop-offs and grocery runs may find a car's storage space and efficiency invaluable.
Similarly
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,
cars
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 offer protection from sudden downpours or extreme cold in
cities
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 with unpredictable weather like Chicago, ensuring reliable travel regardless of the season.
However
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,
cars
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 have their downsides.
Cities
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 like Los Angeles, known for notorious traffic congestion, often leave drivers in gridlock, negating their time-saving advantage.
Moreover
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,
cars
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 contribute significantly to pollution and incur high expenses,
such
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 as fuel, maintenance, and parking fees, which can strain a commuter's budget.
In contrast
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,
bicycles
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 are an excellent choice for short trips and eco-conscious
travelers
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travellers
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.
Cities
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 like Amsterdam exemplify how dedicated cycling lanes and supportive policies make biking a safe and efficient option. Beyond reducing carbon emissions, cycling offers health benefits, doubling as exercise for daily commuters. Yet,
bicycles
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 are not always ideal. Cycling may not be practical in sprawling
cities
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 like Houston, where destinations are far apart.
Additionally
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, in areas lacking proper bike infrastructure, cyclists face safety concerns and limited accessibility, which can discourage potential riders. Ultimately, the choice between
cars
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 and
bicycles
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 depends on the context. In
cities
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 that support cycling through robust infrastructure,
bicycles
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 can alleviate traffic and reduce environmental impact.
However
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,
cars
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 remain essential for longer commutes, families, or adverse weather conditions. Striking a balance between these modes can foster more sustainable and efficient urban transportation systems.
Submitted by henikeassociates on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the introduction by clearly stating the purpose of the essay and providing a concise overview of the points you'll discuss.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied connectors or transition signals to link ideas within and between paragraphs, creating a smoother flow.
coherence cohesion
Consider expanding on the conclusion by summarizing the main points and reinforcing the essay's central argument or implications.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument effectively, considering different factors like personal needs and environmental impact.
task achievement
Specific examples, such as mentioning cities like Los Angeles and Amsterdam, help illustrate the points being discussed.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear logical structure, presenting points in an organized manner and allowing the reader to follow the argument easily.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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