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Writing Samples
Band 7

A person's worth nowadays, seems to be judged according to social statues and material possession. Old- fashion values such as honor, kidness and trust no longer seem important. Do what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#person #statues #possession #old- #fashion #values #honor #kidness #trust
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It is very obvious that in recent years,
people
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 are commonly evaluating a person’s
value
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 through their wealth and social positions whereas characteristics
such
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 as honour, kindness and trust are deemed to be of unimportance. I totally disagree with
this
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 point of view because a good sense of
value
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 is the foundation of success.
Firstly
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, strongly pursuing money and a good image in the eyes of
others
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 will impose enormous negative effects on children. When kids are building up their own view of the world, what they can absorb is from the adults around them. Concentrating on the unworthy things will make the youngsters greatly neglect the meanings of learning, leading them to the wrong way, giving up what’s meaningful in their eternal lives.
Secondly
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,
people
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 with the right sense of
value
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 are more likely to succeed in their lives.
For example
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,
people
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 who are eager to help
others
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 are supposed to gain more support when they are really in need. In general, bosses tend to rely on those who are trustworthy, who are ready to help
others
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 and who usually respect
others
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. In
this
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 case, those
people
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 with excellent traits are more likely to be assigned more responsibilities, which is easily leading to a successful career. To summarize, in my opinion, a person’s real advantages
such
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 as kindness and respect for
others
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 and trust in
people
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 around are much more important than those visible things
such
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 as money and work positions which could not be held forever and will mislead the young
people
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, because the correct sense of
value
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 can bring anything for you and is
also
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 an accessible way to succeeding.
Submitted by fireworksee on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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