some people believe that professional such as doctors and engineers should work in the country where they did their training. Other believe that they should be free to work in another country they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There has always been a debatable issue between
professionals
Correct word choice
whether professionals
such
as doctors and engineers should be free to build a career abroad and whether they should work
in the country where they did their training. There are different views on both sides that I will elaborate on below
On the one hand, the proponents of this
issue argue that professionals have to work
in the country where they studied because they have been facilitated by the government for the education of doctors and engineers. Hence
, these graduates are assumed to have responsibility in
building the country and helping the community. Change preposition
for
Furthermore
, the workers who work
in other countries have their own challenges and may struggle with things like language barriers, financial difficulties, and cultural differences. This
is different if individuals work
in their own hometowns because there is no need to adapt in
the surrounding environment.
Change preposition
to
On the other hand
, the opponents of this
view assume that professional workers have the right to choose the location where they want to offer their services. Professionals who choose locations in other countries have opportunities to develop themselves, such
as by gaining experience with the best graduates around the world. This
makes them aware of their limits and able to exceed their limits. As a result
, they have a good quality of work
and qualify to work
for a great company.
In conclusion, it seems to me that graduates have the right to make decisions to work
wherever they want. This
can make them more evolved in their work
experience and help them reach success.Submitted by bonarpasaribuu on
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Specificity
To enhance your score, consider adding more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more persuasive.
Complexity
Consider diversifying your sentence structures more effectively to add complexity and sophistication to your writing. Varied sentence types can help improve the flow and readability of your essay.
Depth
While you have covered both views and your own opinion, deeper exploration of these perspectives with more detailed analysis could enrich your discussion and provide a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Task Response
You have clearly presented both views as well as your own opinion, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
Logic and Structure
You managed to maintain a logical structure throughout the essay, which helps readers to understand your arguments easily.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-developed, effectively framing your discussion and summarizing your stance.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite