IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people believe that professional such as doctors and engineers should work in the country where they did their training. Other believe that they should be free to work in another country they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There has always been a debatable issue between
professionals
Correct word choice
whether professionals
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such
Linking Words
 as doctors and engineers should be free to build a career abroad and whether they should
work
Use synonyms
 in the country where they did their training. There are different views on both sides that I will elaborate on below On the one hand, the proponents of
this
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 issue argue that professionals have to
work
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 in the country where they studied because they have been facilitated by the government for the education of doctors and engineers.
Hence
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, these graduates are assumed to have responsibility
in
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for
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 building the country and helping the community.
Furthermore
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, the workers who
work
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 in other countries have their own challenges and may struggle with things like language barriers, financial difficulties, and cultural differences.
This
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 is different if individuals
work
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 in their own hometowns because there is no need to adapt
in
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to
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 the surrounding environment.
On the other hand
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, the opponents of
this
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 view assume that professional workers have the right to choose the location where they want to offer their services. Professionals who choose locations in other countries have opportunities to develop themselves,
such
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 as by gaining experience with the best graduates around the world.
This
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 makes them aware of their limits and able to exceed their limits.
As a result
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, they have a good quality of
work
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 and qualify to
work
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 for a great company. In conclusion, it seems to me that graduates have the right to make decisions to
work
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 wherever they want.
This
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 can make them more evolved in their
work
Use synonyms
 experience and help them reach success.

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Specificity
To enhance your score, consider adding more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more persuasive.
Complexity
Consider diversifying your sentence structures more effectively to add complexity and sophistication to your writing. Varied sentence types can help improve the flow and readability of your essay.
Depth
While you have covered both views and your own opinion, deeper exploration of these perspectives with more detailed analysis could enrich your discussion and provide a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Task Response
You have clearly presented both views as well as your own opinion, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
Logic and Structure
You managed to maintain a logical structure throughout the essay, which helps readers to understand your arguments easily.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-developed, effectively framing your discussion and summarizing your stance.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory service
  • brain drain
  • local needs
  • investment in education
  • professional autonomy
  • skilled workforce
  • global mobility
  • knowledge exchange
  • economic incentives
  • talent retention
  • career development
  • ethical obligations
  • labor market
  • cross-cultural competencies
  • expatriate
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