Some people believe that the problem of illegal drugs can be solved by just legalizing all drugs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart compares the
unemployment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
male and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
, from 2008 to 2009. Overall, the percentage change in
unemployment
Use synonyms
shows
a
Change the article
an
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increasing
show examples
trend. it is clear that the percentage of unemployed
men
Use synonyms
in October 2009 was the highest.
Also
Linking Words
. By contract, in April the
rate
Use synonyms
of
unemployment
Use synonyms
reached the minimum.
However
Linking Words
, in October the
rate
Use synonyms
of
unemployment
Use synonyms
reached the maximum
both
Change preposition
for both
show examples
men
Use synonyms
and women, about 23% and 14%.
Besides
Linking Words
, the number of employed individuals was lowest in April 2008, with below 7%.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
the amount of
unemployment
Use synonyms
of
men
Use synonyms
rise significantly, from 10% to 23%,
there
Correct word choice
and there
show examples
was a
rapidly
Replace the word
rapid
show examples
increase in
Use synonyms
unemployment
Add an article
the unemployment
an unemployment
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
of
men
Use synonyms
in October 2009, recorded
12
Change preposition
at 12
show examples
%. Compared with
men
Use synonyms
, the percentage
Use synonyms
unemployment
Change preposition
of unemployment
show examples
of women is lower,
alwaysbelow
Correct your spelling
always below
15% in
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
two
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
July 2008 April 2008 and April 2009, reached the lowest, with nearly 5%.
Submitted by 59213142 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: