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Band 1

Some people believe that the problem of illegal drugs can be solved by just legalizing all drugs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

#people #drugs
The bar chart compares the
unemployment
rate
 between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
male and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
, from 2008 to 2009. Overall, the percentage change in
unemployment
 shows
a
Change the article
an
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increasing
show examples
 trend. it is clear that the percentage of unemployed
men
 in October 2009 was the highest.
Also
. By contract, in April the
rate
 of
unemployment
 reached the minimum.
However
, in October the
rate
 of
unemployment
 reached the maximum
both
Change preposition
for both
show examples
men
 and women, about 23% and 14%.
Besides
, the number of employed individuals was lowest in April 2008, with below 7%.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 the amount of
unemployment
 of
men
 rise significantly, from 10% to 23%,
there
Correct word choice
and there
show examples
 was a
rapidly
Replace the word
rapid
show examples
 increase in
unemployment
Add an article
the unemployment
an unemployment
show examples
rate
 of
men
 in October 2009, recorded
12
Change preposition
at 12
show examples
%. Compared with
men
, the percentage
unemployment
Change preposition
of unemployment
show examples
 of women is lower,
alwaysbelow
Correct your spelling
always below
 15% in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 two
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
.
Additionally
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
July 2008 April 2008 and April 2009, reached the lowest, with nearly 5%.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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