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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The old generation often hold traditional ideas about the correct way of life, thinking and behavior. However, some people think that these ideas are not helpful for young people to prepare for modern life. To what extent do agree or disagree?

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There is a generation gap between the old and the new generations;
therefore
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, their ways of
life
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, thinking and behaviour are different.
Hence
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, it is argued by some that the ideas of the elderly are not suitable for the youth in modern
life
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. I partially agree with
this
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 view because some of the concepts of senior citizens are beneficial for the youngster but some need to be altered.
To begin
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 with, undoubtedly, the moral conduct of the old
people
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 is exceptional.
However
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, young
people
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 lack the importance of ethics and morality.
Therefore
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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youngsters need to adopt the best behaviour of the elderly to achieve success in their matrimonial and social lives.
For instance
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, if
the
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apply
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young
people
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 are polite, humble, tolerant and empathetic in their natures, they will definitely not get involved in disputes, quarrels and conflicts with their family and other members of society.
This
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 will provide them with peace of mind and relaxation that will result in the ultimate achievements in their lives.
On the other hand
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, senior citizens are mostly stereotyped and less open to new and radical ideas. These are the characteristics which are not required in modern
life
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. Needless to, say
that
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apply
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gender discrimination has become a thing of the past;
however
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, it is still believed by
the
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apply
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old
people
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such
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 as girls cannot excel over boys in many areas of
life
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.
Similarly
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, the old generation feels hesitant and reluctant
in learning
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to learn
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 new technology, since they do not welcome innovation and prefer to stick to the traditional and conservative ways of
life
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.
For instance
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, many old
people
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 are more comfortable with hand-written documents than typed files. These are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
primitive ways of
life
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 and should not be followed by young
people
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. In conclusion,
although
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 the young generation should follow the moral values of old
people
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, their stereotypical and less innovative thoughts are not acceptable in the contemporary era.

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Task Response
Expand on the viewpoints of the old generation and how they may or may not be helpful for the young people. Consider providing more balanced arguments to fully address the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay demonstrates good overall coherence and cohesion. However, to further improve, use more transitional phrases to link ideas and enhance overall coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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