Some people think young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others think that they should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #traditions #society #individuals

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Preserving traditional

culture

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has been a controversial topic for a century, that teenagers should conserve the local custom, contrary, some people consider it as the personal behaviour. In my opinion, I totally agree with the statement that the traditional way of

life

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deserves to be sustained by the new generation because if the local

culture

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is not maintained, it will definitely become extinct.

Furthermore

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, the world might lose the diversity of civilization. Nowadays, some customs are scrutinised as

hazardousness

Replace the word

hazardous

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life

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and the environment,

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this

Correct word choice

and this

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encourages people to behave differently from their

culture

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, as proof, the Indian government legislated several beliefs illegal

such

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as child marriage.

In addition

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, Some traditions are obsolete because of the

complication

Fix the agreement mistake

complications

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of the procedure.

For instance

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, in Thailand, on the Songkran holiday, bringing sand to the temple is rarely seen

due to

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the intricacy of shipping the sand.

Although

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technological development leads people to access information conveniently, teenagers catch up with worldwide trends more easily but the loss of local

culture

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should be considered thoroughly,

otherwise

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, the extinction of custom will occur globally.

For example

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, in Japan, the traditional way of

life

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has disappeared slightly because of the Western inclination

such

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as the majority of the population does not know how to wear the yukata because of using suits

instead

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, the estimated result is that in the future none of them can wear the national dress.

This

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circumstance causes civilisation to have less diversity. Conservation is necessary to be conducted properly by the governments to continue the variousness of

life

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. In conclusion, even though being on trend is a crucial thought to live comfortably and reduce unfair situations, it

also

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has a detrimental impact on the difference between humanity,

therefore

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, keeping a reasonable folkway is considered valuable .

Submitted by chosita1995 on Sat May 21 2022

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task response

Ensure that the essay fully addresses both views and gives a clear opinion. Make sure to analyze and discuss the arguments for both perspectives. Additionally, provide a clear stance on the issue and support it throughout the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Organize the essay into clear paragraphs, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point. Use linking words and transition phrases to connect ideas and create a logical flow of information. Also, ensure that the introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay and summarize key points.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Some people think young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others think that they should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

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There are more families having only one child in the modern days. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, distance-learning programs have gained in popularity, but some people argue that online courses can never be taken as good as those taken at a college or university in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree?