Some people think young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others think that they should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Preserving traditional
culture
has been a controversial topic for a century, that teenagers should conserve the local custom, contrary, some people consider it as the personal behaviour. In my opinion, I totally agree with the statement that the traditional way of
life
deserves to be sustained by the new generation because if the local
culture
is not maintained, it will definitely become extinct.
Furthermore
, the world might lose the diversity of civilization. Nowadays, some customs are scrutinised as
hazardousness
Replace the word
hazardous
show examples
to
life
and the environment,
this
Correct word choice
and this
show examples
encourages people to behave differently from their
culture
, as proof, the Indian government legislated several beliefs illegal
such
as child marriage.
In addition
, Some traditions are obsolete because of the
complication
Fix the agreement mistake
complications
show examples
of the procedure.
For instance
, in Thailand, on the Songkran holiday, bringing sand to the temple is rarely seen
due to
the intricacy of shipping the sand.
Although
technological development leads people to access information conveniently, teenagers catch up with worldwide trends more easily but the loss of local
culture
should be considered thoroughly,
otherwise
, the extinction of custom will occur globally.
For example
, in Japan, the traditional way of
life
has disappeared slightly because of the Western inclination
such
as the majority of the population does not know how to wear the yukata because of using suits
instead
, the estimated result is that in the future none of them can wear the national dress.
This
circumstance causes civilisation to have less diversity. Conservation is necessary to be conducted properly by the governments to continue the variousness of
life
. In conclusion, even though being on trend is a crucial thought to live comfortably and reduce unfair situations, it
also
has a detrimental impact on the difference between humanity,
therefore
, keeping a reasonable folkway is considered valuable .
Submitted by chosita1995 on

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task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses both views and gives a clear opinion. Make sure to analyze and discuss the arguments for both perspectives. Additionally, provide a clear stance on the issue and support it throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Organize the essay into clear paragraphs, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point. Use linking words and transition phrases to connect ideas and create a logical flow of information. Also, ensure that the introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay and summarize key points.
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