IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

It is suggested that everyone wants to own a car, a TV and a fridge. Do the disadvantages to society outweigh the advantages?

#car #tv #fridge #society
There is a saying that more and more people have enough economic abilities to purchase a variety of domestic appliances ranging from television to private vehicles in the background of the progress of global productivity and individual income in recent years, but
also
 resulting in concern about some risk among the professors. From my perspective, l agree with it.
To begin
 with, at the heart of
this
 matter is that environmental problems caused by these facilities are going to be one of the most urgent issues to settle for human beings nowadays. According to a scientific report, ozone depletion is a victim of an increasing number of the usages of fridges, since plenty of HCI which has negative impacts on the atmosphere are processed to support the freezing system on the fridge.
In addition
, it is
also
 popular to witness a lot of personal cars continuously producing greenhouse gases on the roads, which even arouses the haze in Beijing a few years ago to some extent.
Moreover
, some psychological and social problems are emerging as well with a widespread hobby of watching TV. On the one hand, the children who preferred to participate in some outdoor activities and build strong friendships with other peers seem to be common to see in the past,
however
, modern parents always struggle to deal with their kids’ addiction to TV. On other hand, some of them may tend to be incapable to think independently with distraction from external factors. To exemplify, “Information Cocoons”, as
Add an article
the
show examples
jargon goes, was created to locate a group of people who only believe what the smart devices say. All in all, we ought to hold a cautious attitude and consider the pros and cons when it comes to facing novel things.
Submitted by testtaker1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: